Opinions

I’ve been blogging for exactly 6 weeks now (time flies when you’re having fun) and it’s been quite interesting to note the reactions it has caused.

People paying lip-service is one such reaction. “It’s just not my scene” is another. Criticism for not doing enough blogs and criticism for doing too many blogs!

The most frequent question I’ve been asked though is:

“Well WHY are you blogging!?” and my response to that is usually “Well why not!?”

For me there’s no ulterior motive here. I’m seeking neither praise nor criticism. I’m not trying to make friends or enemies. I’m definitely not doing it to ram my opinions down anybody’s throats… and it’s not something I can earn money doing (dammit!)

I’m genuinely just doing it for fun, and writing about things that interest me is simply something that I gain a lot of enjoyment in doing.

Obviously I’m HUGELY grateful to anyone who reads what I scribe, but I’m clear in my head that it’s of 99% irrelevance to me whether they like it, hate it, disagree with it or love it!

The 1% is the ‘I’m only human’ part of me that is quite pleased when someone is genuinely kind about my blogs, but I know that very easily any book can be put down, so I don’t get over excited about praise, nor sad about negativity.

It’s just me blurting about things that I like– hopefully with a fair degree of confidence – and sharing my opinions about the topics in question.

And it really is all about opinions isn’t it? Disagree or agree as much as you like with what I write – either way you will be paying more attention to the matter than I am!

And then on Facebook yesterday, I saw this gem attributed to Prof. Brian Cox:

 I couldn’t agree more – love it!!!

So (for fun) having done a bit of research on ‘opinions’, please peruse some of the below quotes:

(with thanks to the Good Reads website)

• “People can tell you to keep your mouth shut, but that doesn't stop you from having your own opinion.” ― Anne Frank

• “People have a habit of believing that everything written by a famous author is admirable. For my part I read only to please myself and like only what suits my taste.” ― Voltaire

• “If you want me to treat your ideas with more respect, get some better ideas.” ― John Scalzi

• “Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.” ― David Thorne

• “I may be wrong in regard to any or all of them; but holding it a sound maxim, that it is better to be only sometimes right, than at all times wrong, so soon as I discover my opinions to be erroneous, I shall be ready to renounce them.” ― Abraham Lincoln

• “I have learned that trying to control other people’s opinions of you is the fastest possible route to unhappiness.” ― Dan Pearce

• “A ‘normal person’ is what is left after society has squeezed out all unconventional opinions and aspirations out of a human being.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

• “As uncomfortable as it might be, I refuse to let the comfort of being agreed with suffocate my opinions.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

• “The strength of one's opinion should not exceed their knowledge on the matter.” ― Eric Hirzel

• “If ten eyewitnesses are asked to describe a suspect, you'll get ten different variations. The same applies to readers and their opinions about the same book. And that's how it should be; we're not robots.” ― Shawnda Currie

• “One test result is the worth one-thousand expert opinions.” ― Werner Von Braun

• “Don't let other people's opinions distort your reality. Be true to yourself. Be bold in pursuing your dreams. Be unapologetically you!” ― Steve Maraboli

Just a few to pass comment on (I couldn’t resist could I!?)

• “It was always disconcerting to discover that you shared opinions with someone you had no respect for.” ― Anon

In my opinion(!) that is utter garbage and snobbery at its peak. A more contrived stance I’d be hard pressed to recognise.

• “I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.” ― George H.W. Bush

None of my own words can do that justice!

                                                                                    

And I’ll leave you with this one, which could be associated with my blogging to date:

• “Opinions vary.” ― Kira A. McFadden

The Great Storm of October 1987

Anyone who lived in the south east of England, and was awake during the night of 15^th – 16^th October 1987, will never forget the great storm. My 12^th birthday was just two weeks prior, but even now at 39 years old the events are still quite clear to me.

The day before the storm we’d had a charity event at school, raising money by running laps round our playing field. We even got to meet Olympian swimmer Sharron Davies before for a photo shoot and I was lucky enough to have a chat with her (about toast) as the photographer had to change his film before proceeding with my photo. It was a terribly blustery and wet day, and when I got home, I recall my Dad (a keen weather enthusiast) noting that it was going to be very windy during the night.

Having gone to sleep, the next thing I knew was my Dad waking me and my brother up and in a calm voice he simply said:

"Get up, there's a hurricane outside!"

Even in my half-awake state, being the cock-sure-know-it-all youth a year shy of being a teenager, I retorted quick as a flash with "we don't get hurricanes in this country."

I'd barely finished the words, when the roaring noise hit my ears and shut me up! Technically it wasn't an official hurricane (Michael Fish was right!) but to all intents and purposes it felt like one at the time.

My Dad told us to get dressed as quickly as possible and go downstairs. This wasn't altogether unusual for me as my Dad often woke me in the middle of the night to watch thunderstorms with him, but as I began to dress I found myself staring in disbelief out of the window at a group of sixty feet tall, hundred year old trees thrashing back and forth at impossible angles, all being lit up in the middle of the normally dark night by what seemed like constant lightning.

We made our way downstairs to find my Mum huddled up on the sofa and crying. Storms at the best of times used to frighten her, but this was a different storm to anything we'd heard or seen before. The constant roar was immense and didn’t seem to let up at all. Within minutes of going downstairs the loudest, most scary crashing noise I had ever heard in my life made all of us scream and jump. Before we had a chance to consider what it might have been, it happened again - and again! It was the roof. It was literally being lifted off its weakened supports and was crashing back down to somewhere near to where it was propped before.

Where we lived was at the time one of the highest locations on Foredown Hill in Portslade, so we were obviously a bit exposed to potentially damaging gusts. My Dad didn't waste any time at all in deciding we'd actually be safer elsewhere. We daren't even go upstairs again for fear of being injured or worse. My Grandparents lived on the other side of the village in Drove Crescent, Portslade which was also on a hill, albeit significantly lower and better protected, so my Dad decided we should head over there - it was no more than a 10 minute walk and we'd be there in no time. Or so we thought!

Having grabbed what extra warm clothes we could from downstairs we abandoned the house and started the mile long trek to my grandparents. That said, we'd only just started walking, when I shouted out: "there's a tree in the road!" - I had to shout as the wind was too loud to talk normally.

Foredown Road

Sure enough about halfway down Foredown Road, a massive tree had come crashing down and blocked our route. Several other trees had come down too and we literally had to climb four or five feet over the trees to get down the road. Once we got through and down into the valley the wind was less, but this proved to be short-lived as we slowly fought the gusts climbing up Drove Crescent. As if this wasn't enough we encountered the new danger of roof tiles flying at us from all angles. My Dad suffered a blow straight to his mouth from a piece of debris and he was lucky to get away with a couple of chipped teeth. Me and my Brother can't remember it, but my Dad insists he tied books to the sides of our heads to protect us before we'd left the house – this became a source of mirth over the years as my Dad more and more insisted that’s what he did – he also thought he put a crash helmet on my brother! We’re still unconvinced we had any form of head gear! Anyways, we arrived at my Grandparents without any further injuries.

They were both awake already and had lit several candles as the power cut was now widespread and in fact the only other light was the arcing of the nearby power lines. My Grandad kept hearing tiles coming off his roof and wanted to go outside to check! It took my Dad some effort to keep pulling him back indoors as it was obviously highly dangerous. We stayed there till the sun rose some 3 hours later, the storm having done its worst.

Shortly after sunrise my Dad left us to return home to see how the house looked. He eventually came back to us a couple of hours later, bringing with him some more clothes and the news that two trees had come to rest on the house and porch roofs. Though anxious to get home to have a look, we actually took a bit of a tour around Portslade to see the incredible aftermath of the storm. Walking through the carnage of dozens of cars crushed by trees and hundreds of tiles all around us, it was an incredible experience to take in, although excitement is an inappropriate term as tragically some fatalities had occurred.

We detoured to view the devastation at Easthill Park. There were hundreds of trees down, and the park was never the same again. I wish I’d taken a photo of how the old play park looked as I can only recall it in my mind’s eye now. It was demolished shortly after to make way for new trees which was a real shame because that type of ‘industrial’ play park is not really to be found anymore. Certainly the apparatus were scarier than you’d expect to see in the bark chippings and rubber laden parks that started to appear everywhere in the mid 1990’s.

Despite the immense damage all around, it struck me just how beautifully bright, sunny and eerily peaceful it was. No-one would ever have guessed what had just happened. Indeed when recounting my story to my friends at school (once it had reopened) I remember some telling me that they'd slept through the whole event!

My mates said that we must've been mad to go out in that weather, but upon arriving home and seeing the damage to the house, I was convinced my Dad's judgement had been sound and that we were indeed safer and better off having abandoned the house.

Having got home we saw that amazingly most of the roof was still in place, though many dozen tiles were spread about the area, and the porch had a huge tree embedded in it.

As we started the immense task of cleaning up, I remember my Mum's boss turning up almost to check to see if she had a valid reason for not going to work! 

The Cul-De-Sac we lived in only housed 6 premises, and our house was really the only one that suffered damage, but all the neighbours rallied round to help clear the debris and saw up chunks of massive trees in order to get our home back to normal. Stereotypical as it may now sound in these more enlightened and equality driven times, but the men cleared the paths as the women and the children supplied the tea, horlicks and bacon sandwiches to them. No-one complained, and neighbours who had barely spoken to each other were all now getting on with the job in hand.

Things were back to normal pretty soon, though we had a deja vu moment in January 1990 with a lesser daytime storm which brought it's own excitement as we were dragged out of school, but I'll never forget that night when the fantasy of a ‘storm in a film’ became reality.

The Top 30 Best Selling UK Singles Part 2

Please see Part 1 here!

Part 2: 20 – 1

20. Imagine – John Lennon

Imagine if John hadn’t been killed. This song might genuinely have forever been condemned to being a poor performer in the charts. Not even a released single when it first surfaced (1971), it then only made number 6 in 1975 before the mourning of a nation revived it in 1980 to become one of his best loved compositions. Another track that has become a Christmas / New Years anthem due to the timing and circumstances of its 1980 release.

19. Happy – Pharrell Williams

This one will continue to rise up the list as it’s still in the charts at the time of writing. A remarkably simple effort from Pharrell in creating a track that is popular whether you’re aged 3 or 93… and all done without the help of Robin Thicke or Nile Rodgers. Clap your hands.

18. Last Christmas / Everything She Wants – Wham!

Possibly the greatest number 2 ever (don’t!), possibly one of the best Christmas songs ever and possibly the slickest remix ever (check out the Last Christmas Pudding Mix). In fact the only disappointment for me is that Everything She Wants wasn’t released elsewhere in the year in it’s own right as that song is just so Wham! at their best.

17. (Everything I Do) I Do It for You – Bryan Adams

Yet another song carried along by the success of a hit film. Overplayed? Perhaps, but not quite worn out like I will Always Love you has become. You can’t knock 16 weeks at number 1 though, so well played to the Canadian Canadian.

16. Believe – Cher

Wow! Cher’s voice on this. Not done using a vocoder as was originally thought, but by rigging an auto tune machine to warp 3 sets of her vocals. Innovative. And then Madonna did it.

My main memory of this is going to an awful nightclub in Crawley, West Sussex and hearing it played four or five times an hour. Strong song with a good video too.

15. Evergreen – Will Young

An early effort of the yearly X-Factor song that reduces the once revered Christmas chart to a farce every year. Nothing against Will Young, but he did far, far better songs after this one.

14. I Want to Hold Your Hand – The Beatles

The song that really broke the Beatles into the American market. Not many better intros to a song than heard on this zippy belter.

13. Barbie Girl – Aqua

Novelty songs – you gotta love ‘em eh!? Well no not always. It’s harmless, poppy fun, but I’m not over bothered with it. Aqua could do a job though, and I politely refer you to Turn Back Time, as heard in the soundtrack to Sliding Doors. See!? Get a song in a movie and it’s a sure fire chart scorcher.

12. I Just Called to Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder

Now if this ‘ode’ had come out nowadays, would it have been a hit? Would it be renamed?

Maybe: I Just Texted 2 Say I luv U - LOL

11. Unchained Melody – Robson & Jerome

There must be a million different covers of this song, and whilst R&J (a bit like an old version of Ant & Dec) did their best, no-one is gonna convince me that the Righteous Bros effort isn’t the definitive cover.

10. Mary's Boy Child – Oh My Lord – Boney M

And into the top ten we go. Again, the Christmas sales probably helped this one make the list, and I suppose if you can rework a traditional slumber seasonal carol into a pseudo Christmas Disco multi million seller, then you must be doing something right. Oh My Lord indeed.

09. Love Is All Around – Wet Wet Wet

Another cover, another song from a movie soundtrack, so obviously another multi million seller. In fact ‘The Wets’ might have sold even more, but they actually ordered the cessation of production of units whilst they were still at number 1. Apparently this was because they didn’t want to condemn the song to the over played graveyard (too late)

More likely they didn’t want the embarrassment of being replaced at the top by Whigfield’s Saturday Night…

08. She Loves You – The Beatles

Now we’re cooking. 18 weeks in the top 3 alone, and this included TWO different spells at number one, with a few weeks gap in between hitting the summit. No other song in chart history has had quite the storyline that the chart run of She Loves You has. The tragedy is that the version we all know is in fact a splice of more than one recording and is the reason why when the Remastered Stereo albums box set was released, SLY was one of the only songs not actually presented in crisp stereo. This for me is singularly the saddest tale in the history of the British charts. Still, it didn’t put millions off buying the song I suppose!

07. Rivers of Babylon / Brown Girl in the Ring – Boney M

Controversy klaxon. This was another double A-side (though originally was a plain old A and B-side), yet you never hear ‘Brown Girl…’ played on the radio. Like ever.

Is there a race reason behind this? A bit of research suggest it’s nothing of the kind, and is based on a West Indian children’s song – a bit like Ring of Roses, which has its own history. As a child, I loved singing and dancing to it, and still prefer it any day to the original A-side. So dammit DJ’s of the UK, show ME a motion and play it more often!

06. Relax – Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Like many people possibly, I had no idea what the lyrics to this belter were referring to at the time of release, but does it really matter? Songs inferring sex have been around since the Edison Phonograph. Mary had a little Lamb indeed.

In fact well over half the songs in this top 40 have at least subtle sexual overtones (or undertones), so get over yourselves and be happy and gay.

05. You're the One That I Want – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John

Wow a second entry from the same film. I’m running out of characters, so see Summer Nights blurb from Part1!

04. Mull of Kintyre – Wings

As a child I think this came on to my radar before I knew who The Beatles even were.

I like to imagine Lennon hearing about this song the day before it was released…

The Lennon Diaries, Thursday November 10^th 1977:

‘Pfft – Just heard about Macca’s latest! ROTFL… Bagpipes and a beach in Scotland? Good luck with that pal. Gear fab, gear fab’

03. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen

It’s hard to knock this one, but I’m still not sure about combining two chart runs (1975 & 1991) to elevate it up the list. I wasn’t keen on Queen until poor young Freddie passed on, but their music was everywhere in the aftermath of his death and one couldn’t help but admire what they’d contributed to British music. When clubbing at The Event II (blimey another RIP!) nightclub in Brighton in the 90’s, this was frequently referred to as the club’s ‘anthem’. I’m still not convinced by this, but maybe it was helped by the additional tie in with the film ‘Wayne’s World’. Let the head banging commence.

02. Do They Know It's Christmas? – Band Aid

Just when you thought we’d done Christmas to pieces, along comes the biggest one of them all.

What’s not to like? Always likely to remain a classic at Christmas, and that’s a good thing. It won’t be a popular view, but I liked the 1989 SAW version too. Not keen on the Band Aid 20 version though, as even I could’ve done Bono’s line better than he did. It’s all going to charity though so we can’t knock it.. and then there was Band Aid 30...
#feedtheworld

01.   Candle in the Wind 1997 – Elton John

Elton John’s music was heard everywhere for weeks after the death of Diana PoW, and upon his performance of the rewritten song at her funeral, the inevitable charity release followed. They couldn’t make enough copies of the single fast enough. I remember eventually buying it about a month after its release, simply because it was sold out everywhere.

The funeral version differs slightly and is better in my opinion (and you’ve had enough of those lately), but the irony is that Diana herself might have preferred another of Elton’s songs given the choice, as she had cited his early single ‘Your Song’ as one of her all time favourites.

So what are the themes in this list to guarantee a huge seller?

·        Christmas

·        Movie soundtrack

·        Sex

·        …and – rather morosely – death.

And what one don’t they play on the radio? The children’s song

So I’ll leave you with this final thought:

Go download baby and Show Me Your Motion

XxX

The Top 30 Best Selling UK Singles Part 1

Okay so after a brief hiatus from blogging, I’ll start up again with a bit of music! 

I don’t tend to buy many music magazines these days, having spent years thumbing through NME and MOJO back in the day. However I do tend to have more of a glimpse when they have their latest greatest songs of all time poll results. National newspapers have a crack at it too occasionally, and whilst there are some songs that regularly make the higher echelons of the lists, the variety and current trends always amaze me. Maybe that’s good though, as music should be ever evolving – after all, The Beatles wouldn’t have achieved immortality had they recorded ‘Love Me Do’ songs for ten years. 

I’m never satisfied with the lists when they come out though. For years I’ve craved a poll that truly reflects the greatest songs ever, and the only way I reckon that could be achieved would be to add it as a mandatory question in the National Census: 
Question 15: What is your favourite song?

Only then will it be definitive! 

It’s hard therefore to do a personal review of the greatest songs of all time as it provokes too much doubt and debate as to whether certain songs should be on the list in the first place. 

What IS definitive is a best SELLING singles list. 

To this end where else to go but Wikipedia to view the Top40 Best Selling UK Singles , and have a little play with that list. 
I’ve included double A-sides where they warrant a mention – note to kids: ask a grown up what a double A-side is… 

Strictly speaking blogs shouldn’t be more than 800 words to keep people vaguely interested, so I’ll do this one as a two parter to stop you getting bored, and restrict it to the top 30!

Curiously though, not one of these songs makes my own favourite top ten…

Part 1: 30 – 21

30.  Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

To me this is all about Rocky 3 (my favourite of the franchise I should add) – undoubtedly aided by being associated to the film, I wonder if it would be on this list, had Sly Stallone hung up his gloves after Rocky 2?

29.  Can't Buy Me Love – The Beatles

Unsurprisingly there are a few Beatles entries in this list. I love the Beatles to the n^th degree, but controversially I have to confess CBML is not amongst my favourites. Can't put my finger on why as I can rarely find fault in any of their catalogue.

28.  Three Lions (and 3 Lions ‘98) – Baddiel & Skinner & The Lightning Seeds

Hmm.. not sure the idea of the game is to combine two chart runs of a song that actually each has more than 50% different lyrics. Brilliant record which brings back memories galore of the summer of 1996 – but lucky to make the top 40 on this combined issue.

27.  Perfect Day – Various Artists for Children in Need

I bought the CD single of this primarily to hear the gender specific versions included therein – probably available on YouTube to have a listen to. The original composer Lou Reed (RIP) himself sings on this, so thankfully it wasn’t butchered. Seemed to linger in the charts for ages, and the accompanying video was pretty good too.

26.  I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston

Talking of lingering in the chart for ages. Poor Whitney (again RIP) gets a bad rap for this on the basis of it being overplayed, and by default of being a Christmas number 1 it has since become a Christmas playlist staple. I liked it in 1992, but a little less as each year goes by.

25.  Don't You Want Me – The Human League

I wonder if lead singer Phil Oakey knew how much this song would eventually be covered by millions due to his long lost cousin Carrie? A definitive 80’s classic though. Even the cover by The Farm wasn’t bad either – plus the video of the latter version featured one Rik Mayall (another RIP)

24.  Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell Williams

Ah 2013 – the year Pharrell Williams became omnipresent. I shouldn’t really indulge, but the X-rated version of this catchy song is worth a view on YouTube (if you’re an adult) #cough

Even just a year later, where is Robin Thicke now?

23.  Two Tribes – Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Again another song accompanied by an interesting video. Worthy follow up to the other FGTH song that appears higher up this list…

22.  I'll Be Missing You – Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans

I wonder how well this song would have fared had Diana POW not died. Songs often bring far more comfort in times of pain than we might realise, and this certainly benefitted from a nation in mourning. To be fair the song is a good sampler, as samplers go – and who could fail with that STINGing bassline?

21.  Summer Nights – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John

I never really got into Grease as a child. I think because my dad didn’t like it much, and therefore nor did we as children. And then you grow up and change your mind! The less said about Grease 2 the better though.

Part 2

Reunions

On another forum I subscribe to, there was recently a debate about whether to attend school reunions. It was a mixed bag of comments, but a definite stronger leaning towards negativity:

The negative comments:

“The same clicky groups still existed”

“Shouldn’t have gone – far too much water had passed under the bridge”

“I don't feel the need to catch up with a bunch of people I didn't really like in school”

“If I wanted to keep in contact with my friends I would have done”

“Full of people looking to boast how well they're doing and bore you with baby photos – too many hideous look at ‘me-ers’… a bit like most people's Facebook page!“

The positive comments:

“It was absolutely brilliant, people chatting like there had never been a gap”

“I felt good to see my old school friends again”

“We recounted hilarious memories and stories – I’m so glad I went”

“It was great meeting two of my oldest mates, but it didn't give me any burning desire to rekindle old friendships.”

In my experience and research, the last comment possibly sums up quite a few people’s views. ‘Yes it was good to see an old mate, but we won’t be sending Christmas cards this year and it’s likely I’ll not see them again for equally as long a time…’

One other person made the observation that the key to a successful reunion (be it school, work or otherwise) is for the participants to have actually been friends once upon a time. A reunion with those that you vaguely knew or didn’t like could quite easily be rather dull and / or awkward.

As a result of old class mates joining the Friends Reunited website around the turn of the millennium, a ten year school reunion was organised in 2002. Personally I was well up for it, so I wilfully attended.

My impression at the end of the night was that it was a roaring success as around a hundred classmates from the ‘Class of 1992’ were able to attend and I honestly didn’t see an ego in sight. Everyone was incredibly friendly to each other and any daft gripes had been rightfully left in the past.

And whilst I wouldn’t say that my school years were the very best of my life, that night proved to me that, on the whole, those years were pretty good actually.

The only disappointing aspect for me was that some of my very closest friends wouldn’t / couldn’t attend, and I really think they missed out on a great night. Maybe they would disagree!

I recall one such friend (with whom I’d maintained contact since school) stating that he wouldn’t go because – to his mind – hardly anybody liked him. The truth was that many asked after him on the night and he was incredibly well loved. Perception is a very strong emotion.

A few years later a couple of mini reunions were organised, but had very few attendees, and the 20 year anniversary came and went without anyone noticing.

My guess about the lack of enthusiasm since that terrific night in 2002, is that the social networking era we now live in has probably negated the need for such events.

Nowadays you have even greater control and choice, and near enough anyone you want to get in contact with can quite easily be found on Facebook – and likewise you can ignore a lot of people too!

People knock Facebook a lot, but it has its place. For some, it’s clearly a hub for inane gossip, drivel and bitching – but for many others it’s a genuinely powerful support mechanism. Just ask people who have gone through relationship break ups, or suffered bereavements.

I’ve connected with people on Facebook that I barely knew at school, and the kindness they showed me when I needed it was overwhelming at times, so I personally am extremely grateful for social networking, as it helped me no end.

I digress!

So is there a place for reunions still? Well possibly, but you might find the numbers diminishing in this age of when everyone knows everything about everyone.

A Reunion Party Vs Lack of Privacy.

What’s more scary for you baby?

The 7 of Your Life

A bit of a break from the norm then – mainly as I’m dead busy this lunchtime!

I can’t take credit for the entirety of the below, and I’ve posted it before at some time… but I’ve tweaked it a bit from the original (source unknown) and quite like it, so thought I’d share.

Hopefully it’s not too preachy for some!

The 7 of Your Life

Be yourself

Don’t spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who they want you to be, or you’ll forget who you really are.

Don’t fear the judgements of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections

Create your own dreams

The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find.  It’s your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Disagree with people if it means standing your ground and walking your own path

Keep positive company

Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude get to you. Remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, so free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety

Don’t be selfish and egotistical

A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best epitaph.  Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains

When the going gets tough, keep on going

There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up.  Learn what you can and move on

Resist analysing every little thing

Life should be touched, not strangled. Relax and let life happen without incessant worry. Take a deep breath.  When the dust settles and you can once again see the woods for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great

Never settle for less

Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were.

Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again

If you cant Stoptober, Stopsomethingelse - updated!

‘Stop smoking for 28 days and you’re 5 times more likely to stop for good’ is the slogan for this year’s drive to help people quit smoking. And we also have ‘Go Sober for October’ for an alcohol equivalent. Both superb schemes of course, so check out the websites below for more info:

Stoptober Website

Go Sober

But this blog is going to borrow with pride and play on words a bit, because I’m adopting my own personal version of Stoptober. This summer’s Ice Bucket Challenge ultimately helped a variety of charities in addition to the original cause intended, so why not adapt Stoptober to cease something specific in YOUR world for a month.

To this end I am going to resolve to stop shouting at my 2 year old daughter for October.

Already this makes me sound like nasty daddy!

Hopefully I'm not!

The shouting isn't even that common, but she is very mischievous and cheeky (obviously incredibly common amongst 2 year old children) and the older I've got the less patient I've annoyingly become. I never shouted at my son when he was of similar age, but maybe the 10 year age gap between them is key here. It could be that I'm just older and grouchier than I was aged 28? I’m definitely more tired (cue laughter from my wife who gets up earlier than I do every day…)

Most Daddies’ would hopefully concur with the fact that “I couldn't love her anymore if I tried”… and telling her off in such a shouty manner is something that feels immediately heartbreaking once done. So I need to find another way to responsibly admonish, without feeling the guilt.

Of course this won’t be a seizure of all chastisement… but a calmer voice will be present for a month, in a bid to keep it that way forever.

Known for having a bit of a short temper, I’ve worked hard at toning it down over the duration of this year – successfully I think – so where better to round off my anger management by doing this surely easily achievable thing for my little girl?

And it’s ultimately because I want to be remembered for big love rather than a big voice.

Update!

So it's the end of the month and how did we all get on?

Hopefully successfully, whatever it was that you attempted to stop!

I have to be honest and say that I didn't quite get through the entire month without raising my voice - in fact I reckon I slipped up twice...but the change of tack definitely improved how I handled things. And long may it continue XxX