It’s apparently good blogging etiquette to review your own blogs, some time after the original publishing. So to this end, welcome to this revision blog!
A couple
of years ago I put together a review of the best SELLING UK songs
of all time. See the originals here:
I don’t tend to buy
many music magazines these days, having spent years thumbing through NME and MOJO back in the day. However I do tend
to have more of a glimpse when they have their latest ‘greatest songs of all
time’ poll results. National newspapers have a crack at it, and TV specials pop
up occasionally as well – particularly on ITV.
There are some songs
that regularly make the higher echelons of the lists, but there’s also some
pleasing variety with changing trends – after all, The Beatles wouldn’t have
achieved immortality had they just recorded ‘Love Me Do’ songs for ten
years.
I’m never satisfied
with the lists when they come out though. For years I’ve craved a poll that truly reflects the greatest songs ever,
and the only way I reckon that could be achieved would be to add it as a mandatory
question in the National Census:
Question 15: What is your favourite song?
Only then will it be
definitive!
It’s hard therefore to
do a personal review of the greatest songs of all time as it provokes too much
doubt and debate as to whether certain songs should be on the list in the first
place.
What IS definitive
though, is a best SELLING singles list.
To this end where better
to go but Wikipedia to view the BestSelling UK Singles, and have a little play with that list.
I’ve included double
A-sides where they warrant a mention – note to kids: ask a grown up what a double A-side is...
So here we go:
So here we go:
30. Three
Lions (and 3 Lions ‘98) – Baddiel & Skinner & The Lightning Seeds
Hmm.. not
sure the idea of the game is to combine two chart runs of a song that actually
each has more than 50% different lyrics. Brilliant record which brings back
memories galore of the summer of 1996 – but lucky to make the top 30 on this
combined issue. The song has dropped a few places in the last couple of years,
so this could be the last hurrah on the elite list…
29. My
Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
I have to
admit to not being a HUGE fan of Celine’s, but I do actually like this effort.
One cannot hear it though without picturing a big boat at 90 degrees. I’m
unsure why it has shot up the list though, as I can’t recall any obvious reason
for a surge.
Off on a
tangent though, check out Celine’s mock up duet with the King here …
Clever
stuff indeed!
28. Perfect
Day – Various Artists for Children in Need
27. Don't You Want Me – The Human League
26. Someone
Like You – Adele
Not
really surprised to see Adele make the list this time around. That said I would
have guessed that Rolling In
The Deep might have been here too. Maybe next time.
I always
get the feeling that Adele is singing for the common woman, and long may she
continue to do so.
25.
Two Tribes – Frankie Goes to Hollywood
24.
I'll Be Missing You – Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans
I wonder
how well this song would have fared had Diana Princess of Wales NOT died. I
know it was originally not intended as a tribute to her in particular, but it
has certainly panned out that way. Songs
often bring far more comfort in times of pain than we might realise, and this
certainly benefited from a nation in mourning. To be fair the song is a good
sampler, as samplers go – and who could fail with that STINGing bass-line?
23.
Summer Nights – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
And then
you grow up and change your mind! The less said about Grease 2 the
better though. Even a young Michelle Pfeiffer can’t rescue it. In fact, some
years later, bless her but she couldn’t even recall the actor who she played
opposite (Maxwell Caulfield).
Blimey –
Imagine Sandy not remembering Danny!
22. I
Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
A chart
climber!
Poor
Whitney (again RIP) gets a bad rap for this on the basis of it being
overplayed, and by default of being a Christmas number 1 it has since become a
Christmas playlist staple. I liked it in 1992, but a little less as each year
goes by.
21.
Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell Williams
Another
chart climber! This was MASSIVE back in 2013 (the year Pharrell Williams became
omnipresent) but where has Robin been since, apart from in court. Plenty of
time for him to revive his career though.
I
shouldn’t really indulge, but the X-rated version of this catchy song is worth
a view on YouTube
(if you’re an adult) #cough
20.
Imagine – John Lennon
Imagine
if John hadn't been killed. This song might genuinely have forever been
condemned to being a poor performer in the charts. Not even a released single
when it first surfaced (1971), it then only made number 6 in 1975 before the
mourning of a nation revived it in 1980 to become one of his best loved
compositions.
It’s another
track that has become a Christmas / New Years’ anthem due to the timing and
circumstances of its 1980 release. Can’t see its popularity fading any time soon
19. I
Want to Hold Your Hand – The Beatles
The song
that properly broke The Beatles into the American market. Not many better
intros to a song than heard on this zippy belter
An early
effort of the yearly X-Factor song that reduces the once revered Christmas
chart to a farce every year. Nothing against Will Young, but he did far, far
better songs after this one
17. Last
Christmas / Everything She Wants – Wham!
16.
Believe – Cher
Wow!
Cher’s voice on this. Not done using a vocoder as was originally thought, but
by rigging an auto tune machine to warp 3 sets of her vocals. Innovative. And
then Madonna did it. Touché.
My main
memory of this is going to an awful nightclub in Crawley, West Sussex and
hearing it played four or five times an hour. Strong song with a good video
too.
15.
Barbie Girl – Aqua
Novelty
songs – you gotta love ‘em eh!? Well no not always. It’s harmless, poppy fun,
but I’m not over bothered with it. Aqua could
do a job though, and I politely refer you to Turn Back
Time, as heard in the soundtrack to Sliding
Doors. See!? Get a song in a movie and it’s a sure fire chart
scorcher.
14.
(Everything I Do) I Do It for You – Bryan Adams
Another
chart climber, and another song carried along by the success of a hit film.
Overplayed? Perhaps at the time, but not quite so worn out as I Will Always
Love you has become. You can’t knock 16 weeks at number 1 though, so well
played to the Canadian Londoner Canadian
13. Happy
– Pharrell Williams
The least
surprising climber in this new revision.
A
remarkably simple effort from Pharrell in creating a track that is popular
whether you’re aged 3 or 93… and all done without the help of Robin Thicke or
Nile Rodgers. Clap your hands.
12. I Just Called to Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder
Now if
this ‘ode’ had come out nowadays, would it have been a hit? Would it be
renamed?
Maybe:
I Just Texted
2 Say I luv U – LOLZ
Or
I just tindered
you, and no thanks
11.
Unchained Melody – Robson & Jerome
10.
Mary's Boy Child – Oh My Lord – Boney M
And into
the top ten we go. Again, the Christmas sales probably helped this one make the
list, and I suppose if you can rework a traditional slumber seasonal carol into
a pseudo Christmas Disco multimillion seller, then you must be doing something
right. Oh My Lord indeed.
09. Love
Is All Around – Wet Wet Wet
Another
cover, another song from a movie soundtrack, so obviously another multimillion
seller. In fact ‘The
Wets’ might have sold even more, but they actually
ordered the cessation of production of units whilst they were still at number
1. Apparently this was because they didn’t want to condemn the song to the over
played graveyard (too late…)
More
likely they didn’t want the embarrassment of being replaced at the top by Whigfield’s Saturday
Night…
08. She
Loves You – The Beatles
Now we’re
cooking. 18 weeks in the top 3 alone, and this included TWO different spells at
number one, with a few weeks gap in between hitting the summit. No other song
in chart history has had quite the storyline that the chart run of She Loves You has.
The
tragedy is that the version we all know is in fact a splice of more than one
recording and is the reason why when the Remastered Stereo albums box set was
released, SLY was one of the only songs not actually presented in crisp stereo.
This for me is singularly the saddest tale in the history of the British
charts. Still, it didn’t put millions off buying the record I suppose!
07. Rivers
of Babylon / Brown Girl in the Ring – Boney M
Controversy
klaxon. This was another double A-side (though originally was a plain old A and
B-side), yet you never hear ‘Brown Girl…’ played
on the radio. Like EVER.
06. Relax
– Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Like many
people possibly, I had no idea what the lyrics to this belter were referring to
at the time of release, but does it really matter? Songs inferring sex have
been around since the Edison Phonograph. Mary had a little Lamb indeed.
In fact
well over half the songs in this top 40 have at least subtle sexual overtones
(or undertones), so get over yourselves and be happy and gay.
05.
You're the One That I Want – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
Wow a
second entry from the same film. I’m running out of superlatives, so see Summer Nights blurb
above.
04. Mull
of Kintyre – Wings
As a child I think this came on to my radar before I even knew who The Beatles were.
I like to
imagine Lennon hearing about this song the day before it was released…
The Lennon
Diaries, Thursday November 10th 1977:
‘Pfft – Just
heard about Macca’s latest! ROTL… Bagpipes and a beach in Scotland? Good luck
with that pal. Gear fab, gear fab’
03.
Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
It’s hard
to knock this one, but again, I’m still not sure about combining two chart runs
(1975 & 1991) just to elevate it up the list. I wasn’t keen on Queen until
poor young Freddie passed on, but their music was everywhere in the aftermath
of his death and one couldn’t help but admire what they’d contributed to
British music. When clubbing at The Event II (another RIP!) nightclub in
Brighton in the 1990’s, this was frequently referred to as the club’s ‘anthem’.
I’m still not convinced by this, but maybe it was helped by the additional tie
in with the film ‘Wayne’s World’. Let the head banging commence.
02. Do
They Know It's Christmas? – Band Aid
Just when
you thought we’d done Christmas to pieces, along comes the biggest one of them
all.
What’s
not to like? Always likely to remain a classic at Christmas, and that’s a good
thing.
It won’t
be a popular view, but I liked the 1989 SAW version too. Not keen on the Band
Aid 20 version though, as even I could’ve done Bono’s line better than he did.
It’s all going to charity though so we can’t knock it.. and then there was Band
Aid 30...
#feedtheworld
01.
Candle in the Wind 1997 – Elton John
Elton
John’s music was heard everywhere for weeks after the death of Diana Princess of
Wales, and upon his performance of the rewritten song at her funeral, the
inevitable charity release followed. They couldn’t make enough copies of the
single fast enough. I remember eventually buying it about a month after its
release, simply because it was sold out everywhere.
The
funeral version differs slightly and is better in my opinion, but the irony is
that Diana herself might have preferred another of Elton’s songs given the
choice, as she had cited his early single ‘Your Song’ as one
of her all-time favourites.
This was
a double A-side too, but Something About The Way
You Look Tonight tends to get forgotten!
So what
are the themes in this list to guarantee a huge seller?
·
Christmas
·
Movie soundtrack
·
Sex
·
…and – rather morosely – death.
And what
one don’t they play on the radio? The children’s song
So I’ll
leave you with this final thought:
Go
download baby and ShowMe Your Motion
XxX
