40 Somethings

Well I’ve nearly made it through the first year of my forties, a time when life supposedly begins.

I’ve read a lot lately on various forums that I subscribe to about this decade of your life being absolutely dreadful, with ‘supporting evidence’ along the lines of: 

 

You can’t run uphill anymore

 

Your body stops working

 

More people you know start to die than get married or have children

 

Your children shout at you because they will be older than babies and probably) younger than 20

 

If you don't have children you may have resent or regret

You’ve had a mid-life crisis, or are expecting one soon

 

Injuries take an age to heal – if ever…

You have to watch your weight and take more medication

You go grey, or bald – or both

Everyone shouts at you

 

You piss people off all the time

 

You miss Downton Abbey

You've either taken on too much at work in a bid to keep up, or you're

stuck in a dead end employment

You worry about your health, your aging parents’ health and your children’s health, all in the same conversation

You might have enough money to treat all this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle

You’re a narcissist and neurotic at the same time

 

So some of the above is funny, some is rubbish, and maybe just some of it is concerning.

I also did a Google search for ’40 Somethings’ which for some reason by and large elicited Jennifer Aniston.



Rachel - She'll always be there for you



It’s all very personalised though isn’t it?

 

I recall having a wobble of sorts just after I turned 30, believing nobody loved me and that I’d lost my salad days forever etc. (total rubbish of course) – yet 10 years later, having passed 40, I had no thoughts of a similar ilk, and found that I simply encountered a different set of life issues instead. Such as anti-depressants, and taking dare into my stride by hoying myself out of plane for charrriiiidddeeeee, which was incredibly amazing, but it does sound equally incredibly insane.

The medication wasn’t (isn’t) for depression so to speak, but for anxiety, which I still don’t understand fully, but I think it helps take the edge off for me in these times. It means I shout less, and panic less, and this is definitely progress. The doctor described it as "life in the 21st Century"

 

Tiredness is the killer for me – which will make Mrs Berrylogs laugh and frown in equal measure as she feels I get more lie ins than her (I do).

The juggle of working, being a dad to three at key stages in their own lives (17, 13, 4), maintaining a hopefully healthy marriage and striving to keep a social life going does take it out of you … and after that there’s still the vacuuming and ironing to do!

 

Football used to be my anti-depressant medication, but the older I’ve got, the more I’ve come to accept that the beautiful game is largely just about luck, and therefore I’m now content not to hit the stress / destress levels with quite the same anger as might have been the case in the past. Football is still good escapism, but I don’t find myself having my nights ruined just because the Albion lost anymore. This is also a good thing! It doesn’t mean I enjoy football any less, it just means I’m less likely to have a heart attack on a stadium concourse over it. Touch wood.

 

What does annoy me on a daily basis though, is eating. I love the food I love (who doesn’t?) but find it doesn’t love me back as much. What a bitch eh!?

Not sure how I help things regarding this as my limited food range hinders major changes to my diet. And I could never ever give up salt & vinegar crisps (I'd sooner give up chocolate.)

 

My drinking habits haven’t changed much in 20 odd years now, but one day that may catch up with me. Never had a hangover yet though and hopefully never will, so long may that continue. Still laughing at the outright anger I encountered a few weeks ago when someone refused to accept this as fact. I could only put their response down to jealousy.

Either that or they thought I was lying?

 

Am I grumpier, now I’m older? Yes probably, but don’t begrudge 40 Somethings that – they often delight in being a grump!

 

Socially it’s actually pretty tasty as things stand. Regular gatherings of various kinds keep that fun ticking along.

Do I miss the old days of pubbing and clubbing? (See previous blog November 1993 !)

I don’t so much desire to do it now, but I enjoy reliving and reviving the past on occasion. At a friend’s recent 40^th birthday party, where some lifelong friends rolled back 20 years and had a great night, one said to me that they"missed nights like these", but I believe everyone and everything has their time... that said, there’s no reason to stop enjoying it just because we’re twice as old. In all honesty I don’t feel much differently to how I felt 20 years ago anyway, though my body might sometimes disagree.

 

The truth of it all is that I feel very lucky, and very happy where I am at the moment. Things could always be worse, and this is sadly very true for some people I know. Compared to some, I have nothing worth complaining about.

 

Going back to an earlier point in this post, it is true that a sadly regular flow of people I grew up with have passed away, whereas before the age of 38, I think I went well over 10 years in not experiencing any kind of loss. At the rate of one a year since then, it only adds resolve to want to enjoy life while you can, and ride over the aggravation that pops up on occasion.

 

Relax if you can and chill in your 40s – you might find you enjoy them after all!

The End

So this is my 53^rd and final blog... well, at least for the time being!

I’ve had great fun writing over the past 10 months and have genuinely appreciated every single one of the thousands of views. Thank you all, whoever you may be, for reading in part or full, the ramblings I've spouted!

Why to end it? Well, why not?

HOW to end it is the trickiest question…

So I've been banging on about this for ages now.

It’s my own little mantra that I TRY to live by - though not always successfully I might add, as life isn’t always so easy as to consistently carry on with perfectionist and utopian standards. Nonetheless I constantly strive to retain hope in the words.

I blogged a bit about this at Christmas, as I like linking the theory to a child’s wonderment of that event, but I thought it would be nice to leave you with it today:

Belief

Throughout your life, you will often need the capacity to believe in yourself, and in your friends and your family, even when it’s incredibly hard to do so.

Love

Love is the greatest power you will ever know.

Love will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest hours when you are sad. Love will never burn out as somebody somewhere will always love YOU.

Spirit

Spirit is genuinely real and enduring. The spirit of good and kind people or acts should never be underestimated

So have Belief, Love and Spirit in abundance, and thanks again for dropping by XxX

And that’s that.

La Mia Ricetta Pizza Preferita

Oh this is such a GIFT!

As I’m bringing to a close my blogging days soon, this penultimate effort is a pressie instead of my usual ramblings. Seeing as I love my blog readers so much, I’m going to treat you to the recipe of my favourite pizza:

Chicken and Bacon Melt

This recipe will make at least TWO large pizzas (or three if you prefer a thinner base) – so there’s plenty to share. Or alternatively eat one yourself and wrap and freeze (yes freeze) the others for another day!

For vegetarians, just don’t add the Chicken and Bacon, and ply the pizza with associated veg of your choice!

You will need:

• A breadmaker / kitchen aid type thing
• 1 cup of lukewarm milk (or water)
• 2 sachets of easy bake yeast
• Splash of olive oil
• 14oz strong white bread flour
• 1 packet of passata (sieved tomatoes) – or smooth tomato purée for a stronger flavour
• 1 pack of cooked chicken
• 10 rashers of back bacon (smoked is more flavoursome)
• 2 packs of mozzarella
• A dash of mixed herbs
• A splodge of BBQ sauce
• A pinch of onion salt

And, paraphrasing the words of Montell Jordan, this is how you do it:

1. Preheat the oven to 190°

2. Grease and lightly flourdust your oven trays (a stonebase will cook an even better pizza)

3. Add the lukewarm milk (or water) to the breadmaker pot and start a dough cycle (or if using a kitchen aid style mixer bowl, just start the motor running) – you will be mixing for 75 minutes all told

4. Add the yeast and the splash of olive oil

5. Add the flour. If you are so inclined (and have the time) you can sieve the flour first to make a lighter dough
1. If the dough appears a little sticky and wet, add a little extra flour to get a smoother consistency
2. If the dough appears a little dry, add a little extra water to get a smoother consistency

6. Cook the bacon (but not to a crisp) and place in a bowl

7. Chop up the chicken and place in a separate bowl

8. Tear the mozzarella into either thin strips or small chunks – and of course, place in yet another separate bowl!

9. After 75 minutes, your dough should be at optimum consistency to roll out and spread into the oven trays.  If you want to let it mix a bit longer, fill your boots, but I’d imagine you are getting hungry by now…

10. Add a generous spread of passata (or purée) across your dough – you don’t want to flood it, but you also don’t want to be seeing more dough than tomato!

11. Optional: sprinkle a pinch of onion salt across the sauce

12. Evenly distribute the mozzarella, chicken and bacon atop the sauce – in that order

13. Optional: sprinkle the mixed herbs, and squidge some BBQ sauce on to your now stunningly attractive mound

14. Cook for 12 mins initially – you may need longer, but you’ll know you’re done when the toppings cease to slosh around on top of the dough

 

Okay so presentation isn't my thing -
but who cares when it tastes soooooooooooooo good!!!
(By the way, the little one was for my toddler, who doesn't like BBQ sauce!)

15. Slice and serve!

If you love it, I’ll take all the credit you can throw at me!

If it goes wrong, I’ll insist it was never my recipe in the first place!

Buon Appetito!

I Love Spreadsheets!

So since I met the current Mrs BerryLogs (she’ll love that) my life seems to have been driven by MS Excel spreadsheets for one reason or another. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not her fault at all – we just seem to have stumbled upon organising a shed load of events that require the sort of OCD structure we both revel in having in our lives.

I thought I was pretty well organised beforehand anyway, what with knowing exactly what weeks off I want from work for years and years in advance etc, but largely those plans were driven by my children anyway (a scenario most parents will surely recognise!)

But since meeting my wife, it’s fair to say that we’ve mastered event planning to such an intricate level, that OCD probably doesn’t even begin to do it justice.

The level of details and timings involved for the following events has meant no possible stone has been left unturned – what could possibly go wrong?

• Going on Holiday (various times)
• Having a Baby
• Buying a Car (twice)
• Parents 40^th wedding anniversary
• Hag Night (combined Stag & Hen nights)
• Our Wedding
• Moving House
• Shopping Lists
• Meal Planners
• Joint 40^th Birthday

You name it, there’s the likelihood that we could knock up a spreadsheet for it.

Some of these reasons sound simple enough, but it’s not always straightforward. The house sale alone fell through 6 times, and the hours spent restructuring the various budgets on that spreadsheet was mind numbing (though ultimately we somehow ended £2000 up on our original expected profit, so it wasn’t all bad!)

What it’s all done is given us such a good structure for any future projects though.

Our latest one is for our upcoming joint 40^th birthday party. Would a simple handwritten 'to do' list and invite suffice? Maybe for some, but we've actually got to the stage of some kind of warped enjoyment in pulling all the considerations together.

So, as an example, what do the project fields for this look like?

Ø       Venue

o        What’s the capacity?

o        What hours do they stay open to?

o        Car parking available?

o        House DJ etc?

Ø       Food (or not to food)

o        Self Supply?

o        Provided by venue?

§         Price Per head?

§         Flat rate?

Ø       Invites

o        Postal Addresses / Social Network invites / Hand Delivered

o        Friends / Family / Work ... or all?

Ø       Music playlist

o        Theme / Genre?

o        Tempo

o        Variety

I love that last one - sorting music playlists - as I could (and do) literally spend hours and days and weeks trying to perfect a playlist that suits. Of course it’s nigh on impossible to have a perfect playlist, as music tastes vary, and I’m partial to chucking in the odd random song here and there to indulge myself.

Some will say (and have said) that we've clearly got too much time on our hands. Frankly that’s making a simple issue sound complex. The truth is we've got so good at this event planning lark, we actually get it together in no time at all. It’s rapid, with the processes being the polar opposite of procrastinating.

OCD isn’t always a bad thing…

Facebook 'Things'

At the start of the year, another one of those Facebook threads popped up asking people to present lists about something. Favourite albums, favourite films etc are usually the order of the game, but this one was to just list ‘seven things about you’.

It probably gave further cause for the people who don’t use Facebook to ask in horror “why do people reveal so much information about themselves online?”

I can see that point to a degree, but personally I just see it as a bit of fun… I’ve not got that much to hide! Besides, bloggers around the world will state that making lists about things (and particularly making them a bit personal) is a staple diet for subject matter!

I’ve upped it to ten, just to make it a nice round OCD list, so here are my ‘things’, ever so slightly expanded:

1. In 1975, I was born and was named Aaron Richard Berry after Elvis Aaron Presley and Richard the Lionheart. And Berry after my parents

I’m happy enough with the name I was given, but do people ever make a meal over how it’s spelt and/or pronounced!? It’s only five letters and two syllables – it really shouldn’t be that difficult! At work, I have a name badge that I wear constantly and yet a colleague who has sat adjacent to me for 10 years still manages to spell my name wrong on Christmas cards. Bless them they even get it wrong in the office birthday card where eight other people have already written my name down to observe and copy!

Yes he spelt it both ways!

 

2. In 1982 (6 years old) I could do multiple cartwheels on an upside down gym bench that was only 3 inches wide

When a lot smaller (and more agile), I was quite good at gymnastics and even went to a proper club to train for a few weeks before being forced to cease attending. The cartwheeling was done in tangent with a girl who ‘matched my symmetry’ according to the instructor.

3. In 1985 (10 years old) I inadvertently appeared as an extra during the filming of the Bob Hoskins cult classic movie ‘Mona Lisa’

There’s a scene on the Palace Pier with Bob (RIP) and I can be seen in the background buying an ice cream (a ‘99’ of course) even though it was a cold and grey day. If you want to see it, make sure you get the Blu-Ray version – I’m clearer in that one!

Anyone fancy an ice cream?

 

4. In 1986 (10 years old) I was one of the first 20 children to go on the new waterslide flumes at the King Alfred Swimming Pool, Hove.

Yep I won a competition in the Evening Argus to get first dibs on opening day. This was a HUGE attraction for Hove at the time and they were great fun… until they deteriorated and just became plain dangerous! The only annoyance on the day was that the school bully was also a winner in the competition too, so I had to put up with that lowlife for an hour or so.

They were cleaner back in the day - well for the first few weeks anyhoo

5. In 1988 (11 years old) I sang solo lines in Oliver! at the Brighton Dome in front of 2000 people each night for four shows

My Grandad had been part of the Crescent Operatic Society (amateur dramatics) for a few years and persuaded me and my brother to audition for Oliver! We didn’t get lead roles, but I did at least get about 10 seconds of solo lines to melodiously deliver!

6. In 1992 (16 years old) I was the first male ever to get a B in GCSE German at my school

Or so I’m told. I’m sure it’s been bettered since!

Helped in no small part by our 5^th year teacher, after the 4^th year teacher had been a little out of his depth, to say the least > see Substitute Teachers for a fuller explanation of this!

7. In 1997 (21 years old) I literally bumped into George Lucas at a Michael Jackson concert

It was my second Michael Jackson concert in just three days at the old Wembley Stadium, and having just got through the turnstile, I half stumbled into George and his children. No words exchanged unfortunately, but there was this instant murmur of those around the scene that it definitely was him! The one thing that I still find a bit odd is why on Earth would George Lucas be amongst the masses in the cheap seats? Surely he and Michael were good enough mates to have secured him a better view?

8. In 2002 (26 years old) I cried when Ally McBeal ended

Many people will rib me for this one, but I really don’t care. I couldn’t get enough of Ally McBeal and found it to be a terrific show both incredibly funny at points, and incredibly sad at others. I don’t know why but I really related to the show, though I can’t see how I had any right to.

Ooga Chaka, Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka

9. In 2005 (29 years old) I won £250,000 for Brighton & Hove Albion FC, but I don't like to talk about it...

Nah! I love talking about it!! To help the club I love by winning a Coca-Cola sponsored competition, at a time when they needed all the financial help they could get was definitely one of the best moments in my life. I might even do a blog about it soon as it’s been ten years since the win!

You can't beat a novelty sized cheque!

10. In 2015 (39 years old) I posted this blog discussing 10 ‘facts’ about me… but one of them is a total falsehood!

So which one is it then!?

Do you remember the time?

So how is 2015 for you so far?

Enjoying your flying cars, Hoverboard,

Nike power lace ups and inside out jeans?

How about the Pepsi Perfect you had in the Café 80’s?

Not everything forecast in Back To The Future Part II  has come to pass (although the Nike Power Laces are on the way soon!), so whilst I’m taking February off, and replenishing my blogging juices for a proper bit of writing, I’m going to play my ‘get out’ card for this one!

I haven’t done a retro list for a while, so here are a few memory joggers for all you lovely 80’s and 90’s children!

So do you remember the time, when…

… you could watch MTV and you knew EVERY song they played?

...If Clarissa couldn't explain it all, then Sabrina might try instead 

… Comic Relief was genuinely the funniest night on TV all year?

… when Starbuck was male, and not female, and not a coffee house?

… you wouldn’t eat porridge oats, as you thought the Quaker dude was looking at you a bit funny?

… we were apparently 18 months behind the Neighbours storyline?

... virtually everyone liked Band Aid?

... Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks were the best thing on the telly on a Saturday afternoon?

... barely four football matches were televised a month?

... we only had three channels on TV?

... it took half a day to set the VCR?

… you knew what a VCR was?

... Big Brother was a relation?

... kids played in the park?

... all we had were three Star Wars films?

… female celebrities had their original lips?

... The Beano and The Dandy gave away free gifts that glowed in the dark?

... the internet cost £2.50 per hour to surf at home?

…when surfing was something only west coast Americans did?

... Saturday morning TV was for children?

... flat screen TVs were only on Star Trek?

... when 3D was red and blue? Or you’d make your own out of those plastic sun visor hats?

... F1 was competitive between more than two drivers?

... a pound coin was a note?

… school glue was a fashion accessory?

… you knew what a Squarial was?

… a Polo packet cost 7p?

… you only had sausages wrapped in bacon at Christmas?

… ‘Wannabe’ was the only song on the radio all summer?

… Lime Green ruled 1996?

… Twitter was something the birds did?

… Celebrities were genuinely talented in their profession?

… hardly anybody’s parents were divorced?

… there was a pub in every village?

 

I’ll be Back To The Blogging in March!

 Belief.Love.Spirit

XxX