Reunions

On another forum I subscribe to, there was recently a debate about whether to attend school reunions. It was a mixed bag of comments, but a definite stronger leaning towards negativity:

The negative comments:

“The same clicky groups still existed”

“Shouldn’t have gone – far too much water had passed under the bridge”

“I don't feel the need to catch up with a bunch of people I didn't really like in school”

“If I wanted to keep in contact with my friends I would have done”

“Full of people looking to boast how well they're doing and bore you with baby photos – too many hideous look at ‘me-ers’… a bit like most people's Facebook page!“

The positive comments:

“It was absolutely brilliant, people chatting like there had never been a gap”

“I felt good to see my old school friends again”

“We recounted hilarious memories and stories – I’m so glad I went”

“It was great meeting two of my oldest mates, but it didn't give me any burning desire to rekindle old friendships.”

In my experience and research, the last comment possibly sums up quite a few people’s views. ‘Yes it was good to see an old mate, but we won’t be sending Christmas cards this year and it’s likely I’ll not see them again for equally as long a time…’

One other person made the observation that the key to a successful reunion (be it school, work or otherwise) is for the participants to have actually been friends once upon a time. A reunion with those that you vaguely knew or didn’t like could quite easily be rather dull and / or awkward.

As a result of old class mates joining the Friends Reunited website around the turn of the millennium, a ten year school reunion was organised in 2002. Personally I was well up for it, so I wilfully attended.

My impression at the end of the night was that it was a roaring success as around a hundred classmates from the ‘Class of 1992’ were able to attend and I honestly didn’t see an ego in sight. Everyone was incredibly friendly to each other and any daft gripes had been rightfully left in the past.

And whilst I wouldn’t say that my school years were the very best of my life, that night proved to me that, on the whole, those years were pretty good actually.

The only disappointing aspect for me was that some of my very closest friends wouldn’t / couldn’t attend, and I really think they missed out on a great night. Maybe they would disagree!

I recall one such friend (with whom I’d maintained contact since school) stating that he wouldn’t go because – to his mind – hardly anybody liked him. The truth was that many asked after him on the night and he was incredibly well loved. Perception is a very strong emotion.

A few years later a couple of mini reunions were organised, but had very few attendees, and the 20 year anniversary came and went without anyone noticing.

My guess about the lack of enthusiasm since that terrific night in 2002, is that the social networking era we now live in has probably negated the need for such events.

Nowadays you have even greater control and choice, and near enough anyone you want to get in contact with can quite easily be found on Facebook – and likewise you can ignore a lot of people too!

People knock Facebook a lot, but it has its place. For some, it’s clearly a hub for inane gossip, drivel and bitching – but for many others it’s a genuinely powerful support mechanism. Just ask people who have gone through relationship break ups, or suffered bereavements.

I’ve connected with people on Facebook that I barely knew at school, and the kindness they showed me when I needed it was overwhelming at times, so I personally am extremely grateful for social networking, as it helped me no end.

I digress!

So is there a place for reunions still? Well possibly, but you might find the numbers diminishing in this age of when everyone knows everything about everyone.

A Reunion Party Vs Lack of Privacy.

What’s more scary for you baby?