Star Wars - Uptown Ranking

Apologies to non Sci-Fi fans / non Star Wars fans / non movie fans etc… but this is serious stuff!

I suspect this might be amongst the most debated of the blogs that I’ve done to date as it’s a subject that not only do few totally agree on, but also one that people get vehemently defensive and irate about in attempts to justify why THEY must be right, and YOU must be wrong.

This will start light hearted, but I’ll bet you a penny to a pinch of Bantha Fodder that it won’t end that way… and I apologise in advance for the 'in' jokes galore!

Let us begin this debate, at the best possible place:

So for the benefit of those not in the know (if they are even still reading this) the below is the order in which the films were originally released:

Episode IV: A New Hope (released in 1977)

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi (1983)

Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Episode II: Attack Of The Clones (2002) 
Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith (2005)

The creator of Star Wars (His Royal Highness-ness, Sir George Lucas of ILM) will try to convince you that he had a nine part saga in his head all along, and will you give his own (often conflicting) reasons as to why he started with Episode IV. However, I’ve never personally bought the many explanations for this, and having investigated a little bit further, one of the following two reasons COULD hold the true answer:

So yes, it starts with the FOURTH episode.

Confused yet? You will be – You WILL be.

a)

George didn’t actually know the correct order for Roman numerals

b)

George originally entitled the film >

Episode 1       V: A New Hope

…because apparently (according to one of those Wiki-leaks websites) he pre-empted the Sci-Fi / Horror / Cult TV show ‘V’ and wanted to make a silver screen version of it first. However, his production team disliked the first manuscript and suggested a new strategy, and therefore didn’t let the Wiki win…

It’s a boring conversation anyway, and ultimately we don’t actually know the real truth, and in truth we probably don’t really care. Either way, what he told you was true, from a certain point of view.

Anyways rearrange the Episode numbers, and the actual storyline order of the films is thus:

Episode I: The Phantom Menace 
Episode II: Attack Of The Clones 
Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith 
Episode IV: A New Hope

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi

Now, there is a whole OTHER debate that could rage here:

In which order should the Star Wars films be viewed? Original order Vs Chronological order

But I’m not going to do that here, as frankly I am not a Jedi yet, and therefore I have no patience.

Instead I shall offer up my preferred order of Best to Worst of the six films released so far, in reverse order, with a bit of blogger’s commentary and a few pros and cons and whilst y’all get your hair buns in a twist about it, I’ll be checking out the Bespin Hospitality lounge for a few parsecs. The foam parties they have there always give me brain freeze…

Worst to Best

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

There’s a line in Episode IV A New Hope (ANH) that people often associate with The Phantom Menace (TPM): “What a piece of junk!”

I think that’s harsh. In fact, I’m going to contradict myself a bit and say that despite placing TPM as ‘worst’, I think I prefer the term ‘least best’, on the basis that I don’t think it’s as bad as many people make it out to be – it’s just not as good as the other five, but to me it still has the ‘feel’ of ANH.

Going to see this for the first time was the most expensive trip I’ve ever made to the cinema though, as I went to Dallas, Texas specifically to watch it. Why? Well back then the UK was always at least SIX weeks behind in film release dates, and the hype was so great that I couldn’t bear the wait!

Like Yoda said: You.Must.Learn.Patience.

Pros:

• A first look at Coruscant. It’s nothing like Scotland, I can tell you that much.

• Natalie Portman is a VERY worthy mum to Leia. Also, Keira Knightley can be seen loitering in the background. Happy days.

Cons:

• Slightly too long

• The screen time of Jar Jar Binks. I actually don’t mind the character, just the amount we see of him.

Funny:

• Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Darth Maul’s epic battle choreography wouldn’t have looked out of place in a Cliff Richard movie

Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi

In the spring of 1983, the question being asked was ‘Could Return Of The Jedi (ROTJ) ever top the drama of The Empire Strikes Back (ESB)?’

Well no, it couldn’t unfortunately. It’s still got plenty of noteworthy emotive and dramatic moments though, but almost feels a bit tired. And if only an alternative ending had been considered that didn’t involve blowing up another Death Star.

My lingering question is this >

The first Death Star was started during the latter end of the Episode II Attack Of The Clones (AOTC) storyline, and it clearly took the best part of 22 years to build. Yet the second Death Star somehow took just FOUR years to be 90% completely built!!!

I know you have advancements in technology, but really!?

Pros:

• John Williams’ operatic quality of the Skywalker Vs Vader duel musical core

• Speaking of which, the Ewok Celebration music (also known as Nub-Jub) was replaced in the Special Edition with Victory Celebration and it’s infinitely better

• Admiral Ackbar…  ‘nuff said.

Con:

• It just seems to drag a little here and there, and maybe suffers in its comparison to ESB

Funny:

• The Imperial Scout Walker getting its head smashed in by caber tossing Ewoks

Episode II: Attack Of The Clones

It has to be said that AOTC was a big improvement on TPM. The pace picks up quickly and the proper seeds of what is to come are well and truly sown. The middle films in such series are often good (The Godfather Part II, Back To The Future Part II, and ESB obviously)… It’s usually when a whole lotta stuff starts falling apart at the seams, and that rule is prevalent throughout AOTC.

It may be a touch heavy on the cartoon-like CGI, but it’s just a kids film after all, isn’t it!?

Pros:

• Introducing Mace Windu’s Purple Lightsaber (the AK–47). The very best there is when you absolutely, positively, got to kill every MoFo in the First Battle of Geonosis. Accept no substitutes #shamon

• Anakin & Padmé’s love theme – more superb work from John Williams

• Anakin’s first proper steps to becoming Vader are evident when he slaughters Tusken Raiders galore

• Christopher Lee. Any man with the balls to proudly display three nipples is worthy of a mention

 

Titillating – and therefore maybe they DO have nipples in space after all

Con:

• I hope Yoda isn’t claiming any disability benefits in light of those astonishing acrobatics

Funny:

• Padmé’s instant recovery following her fall from a great height onto hard sand. Hmmm. Instead of bouncing up and making off like the Running Man, I think in reality she would’ve been in agony, raising her hand and screaming “MEDIC!”

 

Nice outfit though

Episode IV: A New Hope

“That’s no moon, it’s a space station.”

Lots of folks will say the first one is the best one, but I’m not so sure.

However, I do agree that it has to be recognised as the ground breaker, and without the success of ANH, we probably wouldn’t have seen the others. Incredibly I know people who have ONLY seen ANH, and have not bothered to watch the others. How can they feel that their lives are in any way complete?

Talking of completeness, why did the Special Editions continue to exclude the Koo Stark footage? If nothing else, the whole ‘Biggs’ scene near the end would’ve make a bit more sense, and his death would provide more poignancy?

I've no idea who the other guy at the back of this photo is though.

That said he does bear an uncanny resemblance to my driving instructor from 1993.

Pros:

• Special effects - no-one had ever seen anything like it before. And it hasn't dated badly either

• Blue Milk

• The Death Star trench battle sequence at the climax of the movie. In a few short cinematic minutes, George Lucas invented Minecraft 

Con:

• Here’s some controversy for you. I find C-3PO irritating in ANH. But maybe that’s the point?

Funny:

• The Stormtrooper clunking his helmet on a blast door.

• Chewie roaring at the MSE mouse droid.

Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith

You can imagine the 20^th Century Fox boardroom meeting:

“No pressure or anything George, but this is the big one. This will provide the answer to the biggest question Star Wars fans have been asking for years: HOW, exactly HOW will you turn stroppy emo teen wannabe Jedi Master Ani Skywalker into the Sith Lord ‘I’m second in charge of everything in the galaxy’ Darth Vader?”

Did he succeed in pulling it off, or are you still not happy?

Well I was satisfied enough with how it transpired, and the climactic battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin at the end of the film was absolutely superb. As mentioned before, I love noticing a bit of choreographed dancing in the saga.

The only thing I’d change would be how Padmé dies. When one is not especially ill, ‘losing the will to live’ is more akin to the death of an elderly person. Usually.

Pros:

• Recognition of the vantage point known as ‘the high ground’. It’s a real boon in any situation, so don’t underestimate it or you’ll lose your limbs*

*possibly

• Ian McDiarmid hamming it up as The Emperor. Love the uncontrolled scream of “Unlimited Power”…

Cons:

• Hmm… some of the dialogue is a touch corny on occasions, but hey, this IS Star Wars.

Memo, dated circa 1977

To: H. Ford

From: G. Lucas

Message begins:

I CAN write crap, and you CAN and WILL say it

Message ends.

Funny:

• Not hilarious per se, but I rather like two lines in particular said by Ewan McGregor in proper Sir Alec Guinness mode: “So uncivilised” and “Hello there!”

• Anakin’s immortal romanticism: “No, it’s because I’m so in love with YOU!”

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

What’s not to like?

Action, Drama, Comedy, Romance, Tragedy all rolled into 120 glorious minutes of film.

It’s impressive – most impressive.

Not only is it most (not all) Star Wars fans’ favourite movie of the series, it usually stands up well amongst the very best and top rated movies of all time.

In fact, I’m not sure I need to say anything else, save that I recently had a brief chat with a female at my workplace, who staunchly claimed that ROTJ was far superior to ESB.

She was terminated. Immediately.

I’m not sure anyone will miss her.

Pros:

• The whole soundtrack. John Williams got a Grammy for this one…should have been an Oscar

• I’m gonna get flamed for this, but I think Leia looked her absolute best in this one – yes even more so than in ROTJ and THAT gold bikini

• And of course, the best response in a movie ever:

Cons:

• None. Seriously none.

Funny:

• The Stormtrooper wardrobe malfunction in the Carbon Freeze scene

• Lando seemingly struggling to stifle a giggle in the last scene – probably because he knows he’s nicked Han’s clothes

So there you have it. It may be that you don’t agree with me. If that’s the case, then I find your lack of faith disturbing, but May the Force be with you anyways.

As for me, I agreed to go and clean C-3PO in exchange for getting smashed into oblivion on the Spice Mines of Kessel after writing this – it’s a deal that’s getting worse all the time.

Bonus material!

Episode 7: The Force Awakens
So we waited with baited breath for years to find out what happened BEFORE ANH, even though we knew where it was ultimately going. What we DIDN'T know though, was what happened next?

And so were born the Sequels! We were pretty much told to ignore the huge canon of post ROTJ books and storylines, as from here on in, George Lucas would not be pulling the strings. JJ Abrams, it's over to you...

The anticipation of the arrival of Episode 7 was absolutely immense. The producers managed to keep the plotline so shrouded in decrecy so well, that it really was a journey into the unknown. And quite frankly, what a damn fine job they did.

Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens (TFA) was compelling viewing from start to finish. How often do you go to the cinema and hear great cheers and whooping, just because a few aging characters appear on screen. And what other spaceship can give you goosebumps when you see it left to wrack and ruin in an old junkyard.

Hugely satisfying was this new SW experience. Episodes 8 and 9 have much to live up to!

Pros:

• Again, an almighty soundtrack from John Williams. Especially Rey's theme, and the swirling extra bar in the finale

• A noble departure for one of the characters.

• Daisy Ridley. She nails it is so many ways, and with dimples to die for as well. I hope the casting crew got a decent bonus as the female leads in this series are so well cast

 

Cons:

• I wanted Rey's 'vision' to be longer. At least double actually!

• Where's Lando? Keg being kept dry for Episode 8?

Funny:

• BB8 - Genius. More of this droid please.

• "Stop holding my HAND!"

Just another 18 months to wait...

The Nation’s Favourite 70’s Number One* (*according to ITV)

Back in March, ITV presented The Nation’s Favourite 70’s Number One.

Let’s be clear – I LOVE retro music shows – but I really didn’t want to watch it, and I’ll tell you for why.

It’s mainly because I think it’s a misnomer of a title. It’s a huge presumption to say it’s ‘The Nation’s Favourite’, when only a teeny tiny percentage (single figure millions at best) actually voted in the first place.

I’ve been saying it for years in that there is only one way to ascertain where the popular vote lies: There needs to be a whole section in the next National Census that asks each household occupant something along the lines of the following questions:

• What are your three favourite songs?
• Who is your favourite singer?
• Who is your favourite band (or duo/trio etc)?
• What is your favourite album?

Only then can we get a definitive and dagnammit TRUE reflection in terms of popularity.

Arguably, you might say that ‘popularity’ and/or ‘best’ are defined by sales volumes, but it’s not always the case. Fan bases will often buy music of their favourite artist for collection purposes, or maybe because it’s what they feel they need to show how much of a fan they are. I should know – I’ve bought every Madonna album, and no-one is ever going to convince me that they are all up to the same standard as True Blue for example!

That said, the biggest SELLING single of the 70’s by a mile – Mull of Kintyre by Wings– didn’t even make the televised top twenty. How warped is that?

Despite this rant though, I did end up watching the show from about halfway onwards – mainly because the wife had snaffled the remote control when I was making the tea.

It was fairly obvious that you’d have to have been anti monarchy to not have guessed that Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody was going to win. And I’m not saying that I dislike the song (though having been born in the year of its first release, I feel it’s been played to death in my lifetime) I just genuinely wonder if it would retain it’s crown if the other 59 million people in the nation had gained the opportunity to vote too? Maybe… but I think I’m always going to be dismissive of these lists all the while that the minority vote is being lauded as the voice of the nation. It’s comparative to saying that most football fans are hooligans.

So for completeness, here is ITV’s ‘Nation’s Favourite 70’s Number One’ top twenty:

1. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
2. Dancing Queen – Abba
3. Bridge Over Troubled Water – Simon and Garfunkel
4. Heart Of Glass – Blondie
5. Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush
6. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
7. Night Fever – Bee Gees
8. Without You – Nilsson
9. I’m Not In Love – 10cc
10. YMCA – Village People
11. Hot Love – T.Rex
12. December 1963 (Oh What A Night) – Four Seasons
13. I Feel Love – Donna Summer
14. Sailing – Rod Stewart
15. Cum On Feel The Noize – Slade
16. Band Of Gold – Freda Payne
17. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – Elton John & Kiki Dee
18. Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick – Ian Dury and the Blockheads
19. Blockbuster – Sweet
20. Rock Your Baby – George McCrae

And please note, I’m not moaning at the quality of this line up (Blondie being my fave)...

It's true that most of these songs are tip-top, but just to put a spanner in the works, here are ten more belting 70’s Number 1’s that were somehow ignored:

• Maggie May – Rod Stewart
• You’re The First, My Last, My Everything – Barry White
• Gonna Make You A Star – David Essex
• Bye Bye Baby – Bay City Rollers
• Space Oddity – David Bowie
• Knowing Me, Knowing You – Abba
• Mull Of Kintyre – Wings
• You’re The One That I Want – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
• I Don’t Like Mondays – Boomtown Rats
• We Don’t Talk Anymore – Cliff Richard

And I’m sure another ten that missed out could easily be compiled too, even without including some of the Christmas standards that the 70’s produced (Boney M., Johnny Mathis, Slade etc.)

Fair play to ITV though as they did pull a rabbit out of the hat by releasing a triple CD the day after the broadcast: TheNation's Favourite 70's Number Ones

So fill your boots if you like, I’m not on commission.

You still won’t find ‘Mull of Kintyre’ on it though, and bizarrely they include The Pretenders number one hit ‘Brass in Pocket’ ... which hit the top spot in 1980!

Somebody, somewhere in the ITV research department isn’t very good at their job…

I Love Spreadsheets!

So since I met the current Mrs BerryLogs (she’ll love that) my life seems to have been driven by MS Excel spreadsheets for one reason or another. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not her fault at all – we just seem to have stumbled upon organising a shed load of events that require the sort of OCD structure we both revel in having in our lives.

I thought I was pretty well organised beforehand anyway, what with knowing exactly what weeks off I want from work for years and years in advance etc, but largely those plans were driven by my children anyway (a scenario most parents will surely recognise!)

But since meeting my wife, it’s fair to say that we’ve mastered event planning to such an intricate level, that OCD probably doesn’t even begin to do it justice.

The level of details and timings involved for the following events has meant no possible stone has been left unturned – what could possibly go wrong?

• Going on Holiday (various times)
• Having a Baby
• Buying a Car (twice)
• Parents 40^th wedding anniversary
• Hag Night (combined Stag & Hen nights)
• Our Wedding
• Moving House
• Shopping Lists
• Meal Planners
• Joint 40^th Birthday

You name it, there’s the likelihood that we could knock up a spreadsheet for it.

Some of these reasons sound simple enough, but it’s not always straightforward. The house sale alone fell through 6 times, and the hours spent restructuring the various budgets on that spreadsheet was mind numbing (though ultimately we somehow ended £2000 up on our original expected profit, so it wasn’t all bad!)

What it’s all done is given us such a good structure for any future projects though.

Our latest one is for our upcoming joint 40^th birthday party. Would a simple handwritten 'to do' list and invite suffice? Maybe for some, but we've actually got to the stage of some kind of warped enjoyment in pulling all the considerations together.

So, as an example, what do the project fields for this look like?

Ø       Venue

o        What’s the capacity?

o        What hours do they stay open to?

o        Car parking available?

o        House DJ etc?

Ø       Food (or not to food)

o        Self Supply?

o        Provided by venue?

§         Price Per head?

§         Flat rate?

Ø       Invites

o        Postal Addresses / Social Network invites / Hand Delivered

o        Friends / Family / Work ... or all?

Ø       Music playlist

o        Theme / Genre?

o        Tempo

o        Variety

I love that last one - sorting music playlists - as I could (and do) literally spend hours and days and weeks trying to perfect a playlist that suits. Of course it’s nigh on impossible to have a perfect playlist, as music tastes vary, and I’m partial to chucking in the odd random song here and there to indulge myself.

Some will say (and have said) that we've clearly got too much time on our hands. Frankly that’s making a simple issue sound complex. The truth is we've got so good at this event planning lark, we actually get it together in no time at all. It’s rapid, with the processes being the polar opposite of procrastinating.

OCD isn’t always a bad thing…

Bob

So a slightly different sort of blog this time…

For the purposes of the Portslade Facebook history page, the following is a bit of a bio about my Great Uncle:

Henry George ‘Bob’ Berry was born in January 1919 in Brixton, South London at Hackford Rd, which was just off the Brixton Rd.

As his family grew larger they moved to Camberwell New Rd opposite a park not far from the Oval cricket ground, and from a young age he became very streetwise and could well look after himself in more ways than one in the pre war backstreets of Camberwell.

He left school in 1932 when he was 13 and got a job at Smithfield meat market near the Holborn Viaduct. This meant working long hours, but over a period of five years he achieved the status of ‘Master Butcher’ by the time he’d reached 18.

Wanting to do something different, in 1937 he joined the Army as a private in the Royal Artillery, ultimately serving in many different theatres of war, starting in India, then on to the African desert through to the Gustav line in Italy, and finally on to Palestine to keep the peace between the warring factions there at the time.

Back home in London during 1941/1942 his sister, Joan Berry had joined the Women's Royal Army Corps (W.R.A.C) and was duly posted to Invergordon, Scotland near the Cromarty Firth, and Bob’s youngest sibling Sid (my Grandad) joined the Royal Navy and was part of the Royal Naval Patrol Service (R.N.P.S) based at Lowestoft before being sent overseas.

During the war their house in Camberwell New Rd was bombed out, effectively making the whole family homeless (where their house once was is now somewhere between Bolton Crescent and Midnight Avenue, SE5), but fortunately Bob, Joan and Sid had family on the Sussex coast in ‘Upper’ Portslade, to assist in providing a residence.

They had an uncle called Charlie Berry, and he lived at 77 Southdown Rd, just north of the Old Village. A very popular chap, my Dad was even bestowed the middle name of ‘Charles’ in tribute of him.

Circa 1943 Charlie started a property merry-go-round by additionally purchasing 3 Downsview Rd and effectively renting it to the Berry family, incorporating Bob, Joan, Sid…and of course their parents Henry & Sarah.

Henry George Berry and Sarah Ann Berry (Budgen)

The house was very near to the south side of Broomfield's Farm, at the end of Southdown Rd (which was not yet the complete structure that’s present now).

In 1946, having ultimately achieved the rank of Regimental Sergeant Major, Bob’s career in the Army ended.

Returning to civvy street, he took employment at Greenfields (NOT the removal company), which was a national allotment area in the dip of the Old Shoreham Road where Hove Fire Station is now located. He also had a part time Saturday morning job at ‘Venners’ the butchers in the Old Village.

During 1947 Bob’s brother Sid married Lily Emma Flicker, and their sister Joan married Reginald ‘Jack’ Greed – both couples soon having children (my dad Sid, and his cousin Bobby respectively).

In 1951/52, Sid & Lily moved to 48 Easthill Drive, and Joan & Jack moved to 21 Wickhurst Rd. Not long after they had moved on, Bob took full ownership of 3 Downsview Rd, and in 1954 his parents also moved on (due to failing health) and went to live with Sid & Lily.

Bob wasn’t on his own for long though as he soon invited his friend Phyllis Kirkby (or Kirby?) to live with him. Phyllis was known to the family for a while, and indeed she had a sister called Bertha who lived at 74 Southdown Rd and was a good friend of Uncle Charlie’s.Upon Uncle Charlie's death, another branch of the family (Syd and Lilly Budgen) bought 77 Southdown Rd and rented a room to yet more family (!) – cousin Arnold and his wife Iris.

In 1953, Bob had changed employment again and became a bus driver with ‘Brighton, Hove & District’, soon becoming a regular driver on the 15b route (Patcham to Mile Oak, terminating at Chrisdory Rd) – and this was a job he would ultimately do for the next 30 years.

Bob's bus!

In 1958, one final addition to the first generation of Berry’s born in Portslade came along in the shape of Sid and Lily’s youngest son Christopher, but this joy was short-lived for the family as later that year (October 22^nd) Bob, Joan and Sid’s father Henry George Berry (senior) passed away with cancer. Indeed my Dad relates this as being one of the saddest days of his life as he was particularly close to his Grandad – a man he describes as very caring and loving, and in many ways similar to Bob.

In the 1960’s, as well as working on the buses, Bob also had a part time job in a butchers shop in Boundary Rd / Station Rd called ‘Carpenters’, and he worked there for about five years.

Over the years Bob pursued hobbies on three main fronts.

He had a great love of gardening, was a dedicated animal lover, and also he ventured into brewing many homemade beers and wines.

Directly related to this latter hobby, was the fact that he also kept Bees! This resulted in some superb honey from which he made his very strong, delicious and, dare I say it, famous Mead!

As far as pets went (excluding the bees!) over the years he had two dogs (Trixie and Sue), and also had a Siamese cat, who Bob called ‘Ming’.

Ming was very ill when Bob took him in, and was not expected to live more than a couple of months, but with a lot of love and attention the cat survived for a further ten years.

He retired from driving buses in the early 1980’s and enjoyed a peaceful and relaxing life as a homemaker. Always a social chap, whilst at Downsview Rd he made some good friends with many of his neighbours; notably the Gilbey family (who lived opposite) and in particular he often spoke of Ron and Betty Sanders.

Very sadly, Phyllis passed away not long after Bob retired. Typical of the man though, he kept his spirits up and soon enough became friends with a lady called Pat, who remained his companion until his own sad passing in 2001.

Bob in the 1970's

When he died, it undoubtedly created a void in the family – unsurprising given that he was such a ‘larger than life’ upstanding character with immense personality and charm. Indeed my Dad often remarks that he had immeasurable love and respect for him – maybe more so in some ways than he had for his own father, such is the tangled web and intricacies of family life.

My Dad (Sid) and Bob (1990's)

My Dad waxes lyrical about how Bob was a very kind and gentle hearted man, ever sensitive to the welfare of his family, standing by them in his younger days through rain and fire – though he was also as hard as nails to anyone who was not his friend or until he got to know you! He never lost his military discipline, but any excuse for him to unleash his contagious laugh was always welcome. Without doubt as a human being, people would always look up to him.

My own memories of my Great Uncle Bob undoubtedly centre on his positive approach to anything and everything. From as far back as I can remember (I was born in 1975) our family would always pop in to see him every Christmas day morning, when he would never fail to mention that I looked more and more like my mum every time he saw me! He would also often give us a taste of his superb home brewed Mead – and one Christmas he got my brother (aged 5) drunk on his homemade red wine and lemonade… and ALWAYS gave the family children a Cadbury's selection box. In fact, he even bought me my first ever wristwatch and I've never been without one since.

Me and my Great Uncle Bob (1985)

The thing I will most remember him by though was that he was always smiling or laughing. His death was very sad for us all and I think it's fair to say that when he passed away, we lost a special part of our Christmas mornings forever.

The last photo of Sid, Joan and Bob together (2000)

RIP Henry George 'Uncle Bob' Berry - and in fact rest in peace and thanks to them all, the first of the Berry Portslade residents:

Bob, Joan and Sid

(1919-2004)

XxX

The Coca-Cola Saga

Ten years ago this month was the closest I’ve got to my Andy Warhol allocated 15 minutes of fame. 

I don't even LIKE soup..

Back in the Spring of 2005, Coca-Cola had been running a competition with the Football League called ‘Win a Player’ whereby if you registered your contact details daily on a special website you had the chance of winning £250,000 for the football league club of your choice, plus £10,000 for yourself – and more or less I had registered every day.

On Friday May 27^th 2005, I was in a very deep sleep (having returned from holiday the day before and suffering from jet lag) when my mobile phone first rang at 915am, displaying a private number – so I ignored it, and rolled back to sleep. Annoyingly the phone rang again ten minutes later so I caved in and answered it.

A really nervous guy spoke and asked me to confirm my name and which football team I supported…

“Why!?” I asked.

“Because we’re checking if you are the same person who entered a Coca-Cola competition recently”

This sounded promising!

“Oh ok – I’m Aaron Berry, and Brighton and Hove Albion” I confirmed.

“Well congratulations, you are the major prize winner!”

I just couldn’t believe it and I literally started to shake as I’d never won anything like this before!

I knew just how much of an impact £250,000 would have for the Albion, as they’d barely bought any players over recent years for substantial fees, and I’d now be helping to change that.

Shortly after, I received a further call saying a rep from Coca-Cola would be coming down to arrange details for my signing confidentiality contracts and attending the Millennium Stadium for the Play Off final the following Monday – I’d actually forgotten that another part of the prize was a trip to the Play Off Final where I’d be presented with the winning cheque for the club on the pitch. Exciting stuff!

On the day of the game we (I’d gone with my son’s older brother) arrived at Cardiff for 9am and were greeted by a guy called Chris, who was to be our chaperone for the day. Hilariously he was a Crystal Palace fan, but to be fair he was a top lad and looked after us well, starting with buying us a substantial breakfast at the Hilton Hotel. Shortly after, the then Albion Chairman Dick Knight walked in with the then Albion Manager Mark McGhee, and by this point I was itching to celebrate with them, but it was explained to me that to add to the excitement, the ‘meeting’ between us would be delayed until a more spontaneous moment later at the stadium. Plus apparently Mark McGhee hadn't been told the news himself yet.

At about 1130am we headed into town, soaking up the atmosphere en route to the Millennium Stadium – it was a bit like déjà vu, having done the same thing exactly a year earlier when Albion had beaten Bristol City in the previous season’s Play Off final. My view at the stadium this time was slightly superior though, as we went straight to a hospitality box for a champagne reception. Nothing like the usual £2.50 chips I’d been used to at Withdean Stadium then...

At around 2pm, I was introduced to Clare, who would apparently be fielding all my phone calls and media liaisons. I thought it sounded a bit excessive, but as it turned out I absolutely needed her as I was bombarded with calls and interview requests for several weeks after the event.

Clare soon took me down to the tunnel area where I was stood amongst several West Ham United and Preston North End players/staff that were milling around getting ready for the game.

Also arriving at that time were Brighton and Hove Albion communications / press officers (Paul Camillin and Tim Dudding) who both came over and introduced themselves to us – clearly as delighted about the news as I was!

Clare asked me to change into my Brighton home shirt, and we started to walk down the tunnel – at which point Mark McGhee came jogging up the tunnel towards me... he shook my hand and kept on saying "well done!" continuously – he was absolutely made up with the news! We then headed onto the pitch, and the legend that is Chris Kamara approached me and said “You must be Aaron Berry!? Well done, we’ll be on in a moment!”

Having just met these two football legends that I knew so much about, and suddenly to have them know MY name and be shaking my hand was totally surreal. I might have been 29 years old, but I felt like a star struck child! Albion Chairman Dick Knight then joined us and gave me a huge hug, continuously thanking me and saying “well done!” over and over again - everyone was just so pleased!

At 240pm Chris Kamara led me, Mark and Dick (and the super sized novelty cheque) out to the centre circle and we did the live Sky Sports interview and loads of photos, before me and Dick walked back up the tunnel and did an interview with Paul & Tim in order to get the news onto the Albion website.

We then made our way back up to the hospitality box in time for the start of the match and to have some dinner too, though I didn’t get to eat much and I barely got to see large chunks of the match as I started getting text messages and mobile phone calls galore. Several friends and family had seen me on the TV and others had seen the news across dozens of websites on the internet, and just after half time I started getting calls from local and national press and TV / Radio stations wanting to speak to me about the win. I believe the first person I spoke to was Andy Naylor of the Brighton Argus newspaper, and I recall bursting into laughter during our conversation that all this was really happening!

It was tremendously overwhelming (but in a very good way) and the adrenalin and shock of being so involved in it all just kept me going – I was determined to thoroughly enjoy every moment.

At the end of the match, I sat in the hospitality box and tried so hard to remember all that had happened as it all went by in such a flash. From the moment I won, the people I had spoken to at Coca-Cola and those who had looked after us had been tremendous in making it an experience I’ll never forget. By the time I got home at 915pm I was exhausted but still totally thrilled about what had happened.

The next morning on the way to work I was still buzzing! It was part of the local news report on Southern FM Radio (now Heart), and when I got the morning edition of The Argus newspaper, I couldn’t believe how much it was emblazoned on the back page! I collected so many newspapers to keep as mementoes and appeared on both TV and radio over the subsequent couple of weeks, including TalkSport, BBC Radio Five Live and Soccer AM on Sky Sports. I went to Withdean on a couple of occasions to have interviews and photo shoots with Mark, Dick and the all-important cheque, and kindly the club also presented me with a personalised home shirt depicting my win for them – an item which still holds pride of place in my home.

A month or so after the event we signed the player my winnings would buy.

Colin Kazim-Richards from Bury was someone I’d admittedly not heard of before, but You Tube evidenced that he was a talented player capable of scoring spectacular goals. Colin was very friendly and was over the moon to be joining us – he thanked me for making the effort as he felt he may not have been a Brighton player without the club having won the competition. He was generally known by his initials ‘CKR’, but was also very soon was dubbed 'the Coca-Cola Kid’.

I couldn’t recall looking forward to the start of a season as much in years and it seemed nothing could go wrong. And to be fair, for the first couple of months of the season, nothing did go wrong.

It’s fair to say though that this particular story comes in two parts. Part one above, was about as good as it gets – I loved all of it. But part two of the story didn’t go quite so well for a variety of reasons.

Unfortunately the boost of signing CKR didn’t really materialise in terms of team performance, and it seemed that maybe this wasn’t the dream move that all parties had hoped it would be. Something didn’t seem to be right and there was apparently great frustration about the way things were panning out. The team had a diabolical season, save for a couple of stand out moments (a 0-1 win at Crystal Palace and a 2-1 win at home to Leeds United.)

CKR finished as top scorer with six goals (which shows how poor the season was for the team as a whole), but never really got to fulfil his potential.

I was a bit caught in the middle as I could understand the frustrations of fans who felt Colin hadn’t done well or shown enough effort, but maybe there were reasons why.

I posted a few vague references (fed to me from CKR’s advisors) about why he was unhappy on the Albion fans’ most popular internet forum North Stand Chat and got a few understanding responses… but my words also attracted some personal criticism (and abuse) against me because I wasn’t entirely telling everyone every little thing I knew - due to the personal nature of some of the issues though, I strongly felt it wasn’t my place to do so. Maybe staying silent might have been a better option, but I was hoping for a happier ending!

A lot of fans were very sympathetic to me, but one or two were starting to give me as much abuse as they were giving Colin. I offered (on occasion) to discuss matters privately, but most were not inclined to take me up on it. In fairness, many more people after the event were very kind and generous, noting that it clearly wasn’t my fault that things hadn't worked out. At times I felt rather under pressure, and almost longed to go back to being an anonymous fan again.

At the start of the following season (August 2006) CKR was sold to Sheffield United with a sell on clause (which subsequently netted the Albion a further £200,000) so by all accounts the prize win was now effectively half a million quid. The money was still in the club so it hadn't been lost, and I was told the profit was ultimately used in part to purchase Glenn Murray… 

Could do a job...

But the end result of what had been a superb experience was rather sad I guess.

Graciously, the Albion chairman Dick Knight phoned me on the night we sold Colin to explain why he had been let go. The reasons were confidential and remain so - I've still never told anyone about what we spoke about.

I know Dick shared the same disappointment as I did, in that it never really worked out. Dick also invited me to be a guest in the boardroom for an upcoming home game, which I gratefully accepted.

Many people had suggested I should get a season ticket for life as thanks from the club, but hand on heart it hadn't crossed my mind. At the time, the club was hard up enough without giving away further gifts! Had we already moved to our much delayed stadium at Falmer by then I might have considered it, but never whilst we were still at Withdean though.

To help the club I love by winning a substantial sum of money at a time when they needed all the financial help they could get, was reward enough.

Besides, there were greater heroes than me as fans – the likes of Paul Samrah, Liz Costa, John Baines, Tim Carder, Ed Bassford, Roz South and not forgetting the sadly departed Sarah Watts and Roy Chuter (and I could go on with many others) who put in so much time for campaigns to help the club – but it was enough for me to have gained the opportunity in the future to say to my Grandchildren: ‘I was lucky enough to win this and it helped the club keep going on the pitch for a little while’

And look how far the Albion has come since. Marvellous scenes!*

*Notwithstanding this season just gone!

I never really had much contact directly with CKR after the day he signed for us. When he left, he spent a season with Sheffield United before moving to Fenerbahçe where he played (and scored) against Chelsea in the Champions League. Kindly he sent me a signed Fenerbahçe shirt and his Dad also offered to fly me out to see a game in Turkey – I didn’t go, but nonetheless it was a very generous gesture. CKR went on to play for the Turkish national team as well as Toulouse, Galatasaray, Feyenoord and Blackburn Rovers – though his appearance for the latter against Brighton at The Amex in 2013 brought about some contentious issues to say the least.

Overall it was a strange saga, but I would not have sacrificed winning the competition as it was such a great experience, and ultimately helpful for the club. On top of that, in later years the win got mentioned in a couple of superb books (MadMan and We Want Falmer) which I was absolutely made up by.Overall it was definitely one of the best happenings of my life. 

As for the £10,000 I won… well it may sound boring but I mainly cleared my debts! The rest of the money was spent on taking a family holiday in 2006, paying for my brother to have the same laser eye surgery I’d had and buying a huge freezer and a food processor. All of which left me with just about enough spare cash for a KFC bucket and a bottle of Southern Comfort!

Simple pleasures!