40 Somethings

Well I’ve nearly made it through the first year of my forties, a time when life supposedly begins.

I’ve read a lot lately on various forums that I subscribe to about this decade of your life being absolutely dreadful, with ‘supporting evidence’ along the lines of: 

 

You can’t run uphill anymore

 

Your body stops working

 

More people you know start to die than get married or have children

 

Your children shout at you because they will be older than babies and probably) younger than 20

 

If you don't have children you may have resent or regret

You’ve had a mid-life crisis, or are expecting one soon

 

Injuries take an age to heal – if ever…

You have to watch your weight and take more medication

You go grey, or bald – or both

Everyone shouts at you

 

You piss people off all the time

 

You miss Downton Abbey

You've either taken on too much at work in a bid to keep up, or you're

stuck in a dead end employment

You worry about your health, your aging parents’ health and your children’s health, all in the same conversation

You might have enough money to treat all this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle

You’re a narcissist and neurotic at the same time

 

So some of the above is funny, some is rubbish, and maybe just some of it is concerning.

I also did a Google search for ’40 Somethings’ which for some reason by and large elicited Jennifer Aniston.



Rachel - She'll always be there for you



It’s all very personalised though isn’t it?

 

I recall having a wobble of sorts just after I turned 30, believing nobody loved me and that I’d lost my salad days forever etc. (total rubbish of course) – yet 10 years later, having passed 40, I had no thoughts of a similar ilk, and found that I simply encountered a different set of life issues instead. Such as anti-depressants, and taking dare into my stride by hoying myself out of plane for charrriiiidddeeeee, which was incredibly amazing, but it does sound equally incredibly insane.

The medication wasn’t (isn’t) for depression so to speak, but for anxiety, which I still don’t understand fully, but I think it helps take the edge off for me in these times. It means I shout less, and panic less, and this is definitely progress. The doctor described it as "life in the 21st Century"

 

Tiredness is the killer for me – which will make Mrs Berrylogs laugh and frown in equal measure as she feels I get more lie ins than her (I do).

The juggle of working, being a dad to three at key stages in their own lives (17, 13, 4), maintaining a hopefully healthy marriage and striving to keep a social life going does take it out of you … and after that there’s still the vacuuming and ironing to do!

 

Football used to be my anti-depressant medication, but the older I’ve got, the more I’ve come to accept that the beautiful game is largely just about luck, and therefore I’m now content not to hit the stress / destress levels with quite the same anger as might have been the case in the past. Football is still good escapism, but I don’t find myself having my nights ruined just because the Albion lost anymore. This is also a good thing! It doesn’t mean I enjoy football any less, it just means I’m less likely to have a heart attack on a stadium concourse over it. Touch wood.

 

What does annoy me on a daily basis though, is eating. I love the food I love (who doesn’t?) but find it doesn’t love me back as much. What a bitch eh!?

Not sure how I help things regarding this as my limited food range hinders major changes to my diet. And I could never ever give up salt & vinegar crisps (I'd sooner give up chocolate.)

 

My drinking habits haven’t changed much in 20 odd years now, but one day that may catch up with me. Never had a hangover yet though and hopefully never will, so long may that continue. Still laughing at the outright anger I encountered a few weeks ago when someone refused to accept this as fact. I could only put their response down to jealousy.

Either that or they thought I was lying?

 

Am I grumpier, now I’m older? Yes probably, but don’t begrudge 40 Somethings that – they often delight in being a grump!

 

Socially it’s actually pretty tasty as things stand. Regular gatherings of various kinds keep that fun ticking along.

Do I miss the old days of pubbing and clubbing? (See previous blog November 1993 !)

I don’t so much desire to do it now, but I enjoy reliving and reviving the past on occasion. At a friend’s recent 40^th birthday party, where some lifelong friends rolled back 20 years and had a great night, one said to me that they"missed nights like these", but I believe everyone and everything has their time... that said, there’s no reason to stop enjoying it just because we’re twice as old. In all honesty I don’t feel much differently to how I felt 20 years ago anyway, though my body might sometimes disagree.

 

The truth of it all is that I feel very lucky, and very happy where I am at the moment. Things could always be worse, and this is sadly very true for some people I know. Compared to some, I have nothing worth complaining about.

 

Going back to an earlier point in this post, it is true that a sadly regular flow of people I grew up with have passed away, whereas before the age of 38, I think I went well over 10 years in not experiencing any kind of loss. At the rate of one a year since then, it only adds resolve to want to enjoy life while you can, and ride over the aggravation that pops up on occasion.

 

Relax if you can and chill in your 40s – you might find you enjoy them after all!

The Nation’s Favourite 70’s Number One* (*according to ITV)

Back in March, ITV presented The Nation’s Favourite 70’s Number One.

Let’s be clear – I LOVE retro music shows – but I really didn’t want to watch it, and I’ll tell you for why.

It’s mainly because I think it’s a misnomer of a title. It’s a huge presumption to say it’s ‘The Nation’s Favourite’, when only a teeny tiny percentage (single figure millions at best) actually voted in the first place.

I’ve been saying it for years in that there is only one way to ascertain where the popular vote lies: There needs to be a whole section in the next National Census that asks each household occupant something along the lines of the following questions:

• What are your three favourite songs?
• Who is your favourite singer?
• Who is your favourite band (or duo/trio etc)?
• What is your favourite album?

Only then can we get a definitive and dagnammit TRUE reflection in terms of popularity.

Arguably, you might say that ‘popularity’ and/or ‘best’ are defined by sales volumes, but it’s not always the case. Fan bases will often buy music of their favourite artist for collection purposes, or maybe because it’s what they feel they need to show how much of a fan they are. I should know – I’ve bought every Madonna album, and no-one is ever going to convince me that they are all up to the same standard as True Blue for example!

That said, the biggest SELLING single of the 70’s by a mile – Mull of Kintyre by Wings– didn’t even make the televised top twenty. How warped is that?

Despite this rant though, I did end up watching the show from about halfway onwards – mainly because the wife had snaffled the remote control when I was making the tea.

It was fairly obvious that you’d have to have been anti monarchy to not have guessed that Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody was going to win. And I’m not saying that I dislike the song (though having been born in the year of its first release, I feel it’s been played to death in my lifetime) I just genuinely wonder if it would retain it’s crown if the other 59 million people in the nation had gained the opportunity to vote too? Maybe… but I think I’m always going to be dismissive of these lists all the while that the minority vote is being lauded as the voice of the nation. It’s comparative to saying that most football fans are hooligans.

So for completeness, here is ITV’s ‘Nation’s Favourite 70’s Number One’ top twenty:

1. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
2. Dancing Queen – Abba
3. Bridge Over Troubled Water – Simon and Garfunkel
4. Heart Of Glass – Blondie
5. Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush
6. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
7. Night Fever – Bee Gees
8. Without You – Nilsson
9. I’m Not In Love – 10cc
10. YMCA – Village People
11. Hot Love – T.Rex
12. December 1963 (Oh What A Night) – Four Seasons
13. I Feel Love – Donna Summer
14. Sailing – Rod Stewart
15. Cum On Feel The Noize – Slade
16. Band Of Gold – Freda Payne
17. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – Elton John & Kiki Dee
18. Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick – Ian Dury and the Blockheads
19. Blockbuster – Sweet
20. Rock Your Baby – George McCrae

And please note, I’m not moaning at the quality of this line up (Blondie being my fave)...

It's true that most of these songs are tip-top, but just to put a spanner in the works, here are ten more belting 70’s Number 1’s that were somehow ignored:

• Maggie May – Rod Stewart
• You’re The First, My Last, My Everything – Barry White
• Gonna Make You A Star – David Essex
• Bye Bye Baby – Bay City Rollers
• Space Oddity – David Bowie
• Knowing Me, Knowing You – Abba
• Mull Of Kintyre – Wings
• You’re The One That I Want – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
• I Don’t Like Mondays – Boomtown Rats
• We Don’t Talk Anymore – Cliff Richard

And I’m sure another ten that missed out could easily be compiled too, even without including some of the Christmas standards that the 70’s produced (Boney M., Johnny Mathis, Slade etc.)

Fair play to ITV though as they did pull a rabbit out of the hat by releasing a triple CD the day after the broadcast: TheNation's Favourite 70's Number Ones

So fill your boots if you like, I’m not on commission.

You still won’t find ‘Mull of Kintyre’ on it though, and bizarrely they include The Pretenders number one hit ‘Brass in Pocket’ ... which hit the top spot in 1980!

Somebody, somewhere in the ITV research department isn’t very good at their job…

The Top 30 Best Selling UK Singles Part 1

Okay so after a brief hiatus from blogging, I’ll start up again with a bit of music! 

I don’t tend to buy many music magazines these days, having spent years thumbing through NME and MOJO back in the day. However I do tend to have more of a glimpse when they have their latest greatest songs of all time poll results. National newspapers have a crack at it too occasionally, and whilst there are some songs that regularly make the higher echelons of the lists, the variety and current trends always amaze me. Maybe that’s good though, as music should be ever evolving – after all, The Beatles wouldn’t have achieved immortality had they recorded ‘Love Me Do’ songs for ten years. 

I’m never satisfied with the lists when they come out though. For years I’ve craved a poll that truly reflects the greatest songs ever, and the only way I reckon that could be achieved would be to add it as a mandatory question in the National Census: 
Question 15: What is your favourite song?

Only then will it be definitive! 

It’s hard therefore to do a personal review of the greatest songs of all time as it provokes too much doubt and debate as to whether certain songs should be on the list in the first place. 

What IS definitive is a best SELLING singles list. 

To this end where else to go but Wikipedia to view the Top40 Best Selling UK Singles , and have a little play with that list. 
I’ve included double A-sides where they warrant a mention – note to kids: ask a grown up what a double A-side is… 

Strictly speaking blogs shouldn’t be more than 800 words to keep people vaguely interested, so I’ll do this one as a two parter to stop you getting bored, and restrict it to the top 30!

Curiously though, not one of these songs makes my own favourite top ten…

Part 1: 30 – 21

30.  Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

To me this is all about Rocky 3 (my favourite of the franchise I should add) – undoubtedly aided by being associated to the film, I wonder if it would be on this list, had Sly Stallone hung up his gloves after Rocky 2?

29.  Can't Buy Me Love – The Beatles

Unsurprisingly there are a few Beatles entries in this list. I love the Beatles to the n^th degree, but controversially I have to confess CBML is not amongst my favourites. Can't put my finger on why as I can rarely find fault in any of their catalogue.

28.  Three Lions (and 3 Lions ‘98) – Baddiel & Skinner & The Lightning Seeds

Hmm.. not sure the idea of the game is to combine two chart runs of a song that actually each has more than 50% different lyrics. Brilliant record which brings back memories galore of the summer of 1996 – but lucky to make the top 40 on this combined issue.

27.  Perfect Day – Various Artists for Children in Need

I bought the CD single of this primarily to hear the gender specific versions included therein – probably available on YouTube to have a listen to. The original composer Lou Reed (RIP) himself sings on this, so thankfully it wasn’t butchered. Seemed to linger in the charts for ages, and the accompanying video was pretty good too.

26.  I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston

Talking of lingering in the chart for ages. Poor Whitney (again RIP) gets a bad rap for this on the basis of it being overplayed, and by default of being a Christmas number 1 it has since become a Christmas playlist staple. I liked it in 1992, but a little less as each year goes by.

25.  Don't You Want Me – The Human League

I wonder if lead singer Phil Oakey knew how much this song would eventually be covered by millions due to his long lost cousin Carrie? A definitive 80’s classic though. Even the cover by The Farm wasn’t bad either – plus the video of the latter version featured one Rik Mayall (another RIP)

24.  Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell Williams

Ah 2013 – the year Pharrell Williams became omnipresent. I shouldn’t really indulge, but the X-rated version of this catchy song is worth a view on YouTube (if you’re an adult) #cough

Even just a year later, where is Robin Thicke now?

23.  Two Tribes – Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Again another song accompanied by an interesting video. Worthy follow up to the other FGTH song that appears higher up this list…

22.  I'll Be Missing You – Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans

I wonder how well this song would have fared had Diana POW not died. Songs often bring far more comfort in times of pain than we might realise, and this certainly benefitted from a nation in mourning. To be fair the song is a good sampler, as samplers go – and who could fail with that STINGing bassline?

21.  Summer Nights – John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John

I never really got into Grease as a child. I think because my dad didn’t like it much, and therefore nor did we as children. And then you grow up and change your mind! The less said about Grease 2 the better though.

Part 2

When Technology goes Missing

A missing child is always big news, and rightfully so. Some cases attract more attention than others but staggeringly over 140,000 under 18’s go missing every year – and every 3 minutes another missing child report comes in to the Police.

One of the positives to modern technology and social networking is that news of a missing child invariably gets to millions of people rapidly, therefore increasing the chance of a happy ending. Speed of communication has not always been so present though.

Strangely enough during the summer of 1978, I managed to become a missing child for a short period of time…well a short period in my mind, and probably only a few hours in real time, but in all likelihood a lifetime for my Mum.

Evidently my Mum was chatting in the front garden to a neighbour. I was milling about and my baby brother was in his buggy. She took her eye off me momentarily and within seconds I had gone.

The rear gardens to the houses backed onto woods which bordered the old Hove Golf Course, and thankfully not the A293 (A27 link road) that opened in 1992, so onto the lawns was really the only direction I could have gone.

Having discovered me missing, my Mum naturally ran around in a panic and got neighbours up and down the road looking for a blond (yes blond) 2 year old boy.

 

Bear in mind back then not everybody had landline phones, and NOBODY had a mobile cellular phone, so Mum had to find someone somewhere with a landline phone to make the call to the Police. She couldn’t call my Dad as he was at work driving his bus and therefore totally uncontactable, so having called the Police and given details they said they’d pop along shortly. She then went onto the golf course with a few of the neighbours to ask the golfers (of which there were many) if they’d seen me.

No joy.

From my point of view I can just about remember walking along a stretch of grass (supposedly the golf course) and subsequently walking up the A270 Old Shoreham Road towards the junction with Hangleton Road, which is a distance of just over half a mile.

Albeit the Old Shoreham Road is far busier now than it was then, it was still a major road back in 1978 due the Brighton by-pass having not yet been built.

I couldn’t have been on the roadside long though before I was approached by two young girls who had got out of a bronze car and started to speak to me.
In fact the photo below (taken in 1987 Dave Denyer - with thanks) shows exactly the spot where they picked me up! 

I have no recollection who they were or what they said, but evidently they took me to a Police box* in Olive Road, Hove

*#tardis

Soon enough the Police bought me home to my relieved Mum. When my Dad got home, oblivious to what had happened, he asked my Mum if she’d given me a bloody good hiding for running off!

It’s fashionable to knock modern technology at the moment – and in particular mobile phones – but in some cases, what would we do without them?