40 Somethings

Well I’ve nearly made it through the first year of my forties, a time when life supposedly begins.

I’ve read a lot lately on various forums that I subscribe to about this decade of your life being absolutely dreadful, with ‘supporting evidence’ along the lines of: 

 

You can’t run uphill anymore

 

Your body stops working

 

More people you know start to die than get married or have children

 

Your children shout at you because they will be older than babies and probably) younger than 20

 

If you don't have children you may have resent or regret

You’ve had a mid-life crisis, or are expecting one soon

 

Injuries take an age to heal – if ever…

You have to watch your weight and take more medication

You go grey, or bald – or both

Everyone shouts at you

 

You piss people off all the time

 

You miss Downton Abbey

You've either taken on too much at work in a bid to keep up, or you're

stuck in a dead end employment

You worry about your health, your aging parents’ health and your children’s health, all in the same conversation

You might have enough money to treat all this stress with red wine or beer but, if you do, you will put on 5 stone just opening the bottle

You’re a narcissist and neurotic at the same time

 

So some of the above is funny, some is rubbish, and maybe just some of it is concerning.

I also did a Google search for ’40 Somethings’ which for some reason by and large elicited Jennifer Aniston.



Rachel - She'll always be there for you



It’s all very personalised though isn’t it?

 

I recall having a wobble of sorts just after I turned 30, believing nobody loved me and that I’d lost my salad days forever etc. (total rubbish of course) – yet 10 years later, having passed 40, I had no thoughts of a similar ilk, and found that I simply encountered a different set of life issues instead. Such as anti-depressants, and taking dare into my stride by hoying myself out of plane for charrriiiidddeeeee, which was incredibly amazing, but it does sound equally incredibly insane.

The medication wasn’t (isn’t) for depression so to speak, but for anxiety, which I still don’t understand fully, but I think it helps take the edge off for me in these times. It means I shout less, and panic less, and this is definitely progress. The doctor described it as "life in the 21st Century"

 

Tiredness is the killer for me – which will make Mrs Berrylogs laugh and frown in equal measure as she feels I get more lie ins than her (I do).

The juggle of working, being a dad to three at key stages in their own lives (17, 13, 4), maintaining a hopefully healthy marriage and striving to keep a social life going does take it out of you … and after that there’s still the vacuuming and ironing to do!

 

Football used to be my anti-depressant medication, but the older I’ve got, the more I’ve come to accept that the beautiful game is largely just about luck, and therefore I’m now content not to hit the stress / destress levels with quite the same anger as might have been the case in the past. Football is still good escapism, but I don’t find myself having my nights ruined just because the Albion lost anymore. This is also a good thing! It doesn’t mean I enjoy football any less, it just means I’m less likely to have a heart attack on a stadium concourse over it. Touch wood.

 

What does annoy me on a daily basis though, is eating. I love the food I love (who doesn’t?) but find it doesn’t love me back as much. What a bitch eh!?

Not sure how I help things regarding this as my limited food range hinders major changes to my diet. And I could never ever give up salt & vinegar crisps (I'd sooner give up chocolate.)

 

My drinking habits haven’t changed much in 20 odd years now, but one day that may catch up with me. Never had a hangover yet though and hopefully never will, so long may that continue. Still laughing at the outright anger I encountered a few weeks ago when someone refused to accept this as fact. I could only put their response down to jealousy.

Either that or they thought I was lying?

 

Am I grumpier, now I’m older? Yes probably, but don’t begrudge 40 Somethings that – they often delight in being a grump!

 

Socially it’s actually pretty tasty as things stand. Regular gatherings of various kinds keep that fun ticking along.

Do I miss the old days of pubbing and clubbing? (See previous blog November 1993 !)

I don’t so much desire to do it now, but I enjoy reliving and reviving the past on occasion. At a friend’s recent 40^th birthday party, where some lifelong friends rolled back 20 years and had a great night, one said to me that they"missed nights like these", but I believe everyone and everything has their time... that said, there’s no reason to stop enjoying it just because we’re twice as old. In all honesty I don’t feel much differently to how I felt 20 years ago anyway, though my body might sometimes disagree.

 

The truth of it all is that I feel very lucky, and very happy where I am at the moment. Things could always be worse, and this is sadly very true for some people I know. Compared to some, I have nothing worth complaining about.

 

Going back to an earlier point in this post, it is true that a sadly regular flow of people I grew up with have passed away, whereas before the age of 38, I think I went well over 10 years in not experiencing any kind of loss. At the rate of one a year since then, it only adds resolve to want to enjoy life while you can, and ride over the aggravation that pops up on occasion.

 

Relax if you can and chill in your 40s – you might find you enjoy them after all!