Friday 3 October 2014

Reunions

On another forum I subscribe to, there was recently a debate about whether to attend school reunions. It was a mixed bag of comments, but a definite stronger leaning towards negativity:

The negative comments:
“The same clicky groups still existed”
“Shouldn’t have gone – far too much water had passed under the bridge”
“I don't feel the need to catch up with a bunch of people I didn't really like in school”
“If I wanted to keep in contact with my friends I would have done”
“Full of people looking to boast how well they're doing and bore you with baby photos – too many hideous look at ‘me-ers’… a bit like most people's Facebook page!“

The positive comments:
“It was absolutely brilliant, people chatting like there had never been a gap”
“I felt good to see my old school friends again”
“We recounted hilarious memories and stories – I’m so glad I went”
“It was great meeting two of my oldest mates, but it didn't give me any burning desire to rekindle old friendships.”

In my experience and research, the last comment possibly sums up quite a few people’s views. ‘Yes it was good to see an old mate, but we won’t be sending Christmas cards this year and it’s likely I’ll not see them again for equally as long a time…’

One other person made the observation that the key to a successful reunion (be it school, work or otherwise) is for the participants to have actually been friends once upon a time. A reunion with those that you vaguely knew or didn’t like could quite easily be rather dull and / or awkward.

As a result of old class mates joining the Friends Reunited website around the turn of the millennium, a ten year school reunion was organised in 2002. Personally I was well up for it, so I wilfully attended.
My impression at the end of the night was that it was a roaring success as around a hundred classmates from the ‘Class of 1992’ were able to attend and I honestly didn’t see an ego in sight. Everyone was incredibly friendly to each other and any daft gripes had been rightfully left in the past.
And whilst I wouldn’t say that my school years were the very best of my life, that night proved to me that, on the whole, those years were pretty good actually.
The only disappointing aspect for me was that some of my very closest friends wouldn’t / couldn’t attend, and I really think they missed out on a great night. Maybe they would disagree!

I recall one such friend (with whom I’d maintained contact since school) stating that he wouldn’t go because – to his mind – hardly anybody liked him. The truth was that many asked after him on the night and he was incredibly well loved. Perception is a very strong emotion.
A few years later a couple of mini reunions were organised, but had very few attendees, and the 20 year anniversary came and went without anyone noticing.
My guess about the lack of enthusiasm since that terrific night in 2002, is that the social networking era we now live in has probably negated the need for such events.
Nowadays you have even greater control and choice, and near enough anyone you want to get in contact with can quite easily be found on Facebook – and likewise you can ignore a lot of people too!

People knock Facebook a lot, but it has its place. For some, it’s clearly a hub for inane gossip, drivel and bitching – but for many others it’s a genuinely powerful support mechanism. Just ask people who have gone through relationship break ups, or suffered bereavements.
I’ve connected with people on Facebook that I barely knew at school, and the kindness they showed me when I needed it was overwhelming at times, so I personally am extremely grateful for social networking, as it helped me no end.
I digress!

So is there a place for reunions still? Well possibly, but you might find the numbers diminishing in this age of when everyone knows everything about everyone.
A Reunion Party Vs Lack of Privacy.
What’s more scary for you baby?

The 7 of Your Life


A bit of a break from the norm then – mainly as I’m dead busy this lunchtime!

I can’t take credit for the entirety of the below, and I’ve posted it before at some time… but I’ve tweaked it a bit from the original (source unknown) and quite like it, so thought I’d share.
Hopefully it’s not too preachy for some!

The 7 of Your Life

Be yourself
Don’t spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who they want you to be, or you’ll forget who you really are.
Don’t fear the judgements of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections

Create your own dreams
The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find.  It’s your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Disagree with people if it means standing your ground and walking your own path

Keep positive company
Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude get to you. Remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, so free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety

Don’t be selfish and egotistical
A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best epitaph.  Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains

When the going gets tough, keep on going
There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up.  Learn what you can and move on

Resist analysing every little thing
Life should be touched, not strangled. Relax and let life happen without incessant worry. Take a deep breath.  When the dust settles and you can once again see the woods for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great

Never settle for less
Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were.
Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again

Wednesday 1 October 2014

If you cant Stoptober, Stopsomethingelse - updated!

Stop smoking for 28 days and you’re 5 times more likely to stop for good’ is the slogan for this year’s drive to help people quit smoking. And we also have ‘Go Sober for October’ for an alcohol equivalent. Both superb schemes of course, so check out the websites below for more info:



But this blog is going to borrow with pride and play on words a bit, because I’m adopting my own personal version of Stoptober. This summer’s Ice Bucket Challenge ultimately helped a variety of charities in addition to the original cause intended, so why not adapt Stoptober to cease something specific in YOUR world for a month.

To this end I am going to resolve to stop shouting at my 2 year old daughter for October.

Already this makes me sound like nasty daddy!
Hopefully I'm not!

The shouting isn't even that common, but she is very mischievous and cheeky (obviously incredibly common amongst 2 year old children) and the older I've got the less patient I've annoyingly become. I never shouted at my son when he was of similar age, but maybe the 10 year age gap between them is key here. It could be that I'm just older and grouchier than I was aged 28? I’m definitely more tired (cue laughter from my wife who gets up earlier than I do every day…)

Most Daddies’ would hopefully concur with the fact that “I couldn't love her anymore if I tried”… and telling her off in such a shouty manner is something that feels immediately heartbreaking once done. So I need to find another way to responsibly admonish, without feeling the guilt.

Of course this won’t be a seizure of all chastisement… but a calmer voice will be present for a month, in a bid to keep it that way forever.
Known for having a bit of a short temper, I’ve worked hard at toning it down over the duration of this year – successfully I think – so where better to round off my anger management by doing this surely easily achievable thing for my little girl?
And it’s ultimately because I want to be remembered for big love rather than a big voice.

Update!
So it's the end of the month and how did we all get on?
Hopefully successfully, whatever it was that you attempted to stop!

I have to be honest and say that I didn't quite get through the entire month without raising my voice - in fact I reckon I slipped up twice...but the change of tack definitely improved how I handled things. And long may it continue XxX

Monday 29 September 2014

When Technology goes Missing

A missing child is always big news, and rightfully so. Some cases attract more attention than others but staggeringly over 140,000 under 18’s go missing every year – and every 3 minutes another missing child report comes in to the Police.

One of the positives to modern technology and social networking is that news of a missing child invariably gets to millions of people rapidly, therefore increasing the chance of a happy ending. Speed of communication has not always been so present though.

Strangely enough during the summer of 1978, I managed to become a missing child for a short period of time…well a short period in my mind, and probably only a few hours in real time, but in all likelihood a lifetime for my Mum.

Evidently my Mum was chatting in the front garden to a neighbour. I was milling about and my baby brother was in his buggy. She took her eye off me momentarily and within seconds I had gone.
The rear gardens to the houses backed onto woods which bordered the old Hove Golf Course, and thankfully not the A293 (A27 link road) that opened in 1992, so onto the lawns was really the only direction I could have gone.

Having discovered me missing, my Mum naturally ran around in a panic and got neighbours up and down the road looking for a blond (yes blond) 2 year old boy.

 
Bear in mind back then not everybody had landline phones, and NOBODY had a mobile cellular phone, so Mum had to find someone somewhere with a landline phone to make the call to the Police. She couldn’t call my Dad as he was at work driving his bus and therefore totally uncontactable, so having called the Police and given details they said they’d pop along shortly. She then went onto the golf course with a few of the neighbours to ask the golfers (of which there were many) if they’d seen me.
No joy.

From my point of view I can just about remember walking along a stretch of grass (supposedly the golf course) and subsequently walking up the A270 Old Shoreham Road towards the junction with Hangleton Road, which is a distance of just over half a mile.

Albeit the Old Shoreham Road is far busier now than it was then, it was still a major road back in 1978 due the Brighton by-pass having not yet been built.

I couldn’t have been on the roadside long though before I was approached by two young girls who had got out of a bronze car and started to speak to me.
In fact the photo below (taken in 1987 Dave Denyer - with thanks) shows exactly the spot where they picked me up! 


I have no recollection who they were or what they said, but evidently they took me to a Police box* in Olive Road, Hove
*#tardis


Soon enough the Police bought me home to my relieved Mum. When my Dad got home, oblivious to what had happened, he asked my Mum if she’d given me a bloody good hiding for running off!

It’s fashionable to knock modern technology at the moment – and in particular mobile phones – but in some cases, what would we do without them?

Friday 26 September 2014

Getting Trollied again

Updated and Revised Blog for 2016!

Very pleased to find out that the Sky One sitcom ‘Trollied’ is returning for a sixth series this Autumn. I absolutely love this show, and hopefully this season will hit the same heights as before.



Having worked in a supermarket from age 15 until I escaped aged 23, I can very much relate to the events in Trollied, and feel warmed by knowing that not much has changed in day-to-day supermarket shenanigans since I left in 1999.

Viewers of the show that haven’t worked in a supermarket before, might find it all a bit odd and not very funny at all. Crass even.
But if you’ve done your time in food retail, like I did for over 8 years, then you will know. You will just know how accurate some of the apparent outlandish storylines actually are.
You name it, if it’s been on Trollied, then I’ve recognised that it’s actually happened (and probably still happening) in real life.

Such as, staff:
…sleeping on top of the warehouse chillers (knew a guy that did this at least once a week)
…performing knee slides across the floor on night shift (every night)
…wilfully damaging goods (I saw a guy do a flying headbutt into a pallet of 200 egg boxes)
…having sex in the warehouse (didn’t witness this(!) but it definitely happened fairly often)
…being chucked in the baler (the new kids on Produce)
…eating food off the shopfloor (happened on a daily basis)
…describing fruit shapes to old ladies using genitalia innuendo (too many to mention)
…managers ‘stealing’ other managers’ cars, parking them halfway across town and letting the tyres down (I loved working at that branch!)
It’s not an exhaustive list by any means, but you get the gist!

Another staple of Trollied are the undertones of relationships. The amount of relationships that interweaved in the stores I worked in were innumerable, and ‘incestuous’ was often the term used to describe them. I remember rumours of one person who had relations of sorts with at least a dozen other members of staff from the same store… and frankly I lost count of the amount of senior managers visiting the customer toilets with checkout girls. And boys.

I even had my own brush with a ‘Mrs Robinson’ experience. To be fair I was 22, and she was only 34, but her 12 year seniority on me was quite something to experience! I was probably far too shy for my own good with her... :-)
Additionally, when I was 19 I was accused of having an affair with my female manager, who was well into her 50’s #shudder … and NO, I didn’t!


One particular highlight was someone taking the time to put a prank call in to Customer Services in the summer of 1996. Using the tannoy to broadcast to over a thousand staff and customers, the innocent young checkout assistant boomed:
“This is a customer announcement. There is an urgent call for Mike Hunt, who is shopping in the store today. Please can Mike Hunt come to Customer Services”
I kid you not.

Later that night, by pure fluke, I actually met the bloke who put the prank call in. Turns out he didn’t even work for the supermarket, but had done it for a mate of his whose last day it was.

So Trollied is very realistic and should be a real eye opener to those who think its fiction. It isn’t!
And as I’m feeling kind, I’ll leave you with a top tip: Never buy grated parmesan from a deli counter…

Stop Press: 
More Trollied / Supermarket life blogging:

It Was A Womans World (Trollied Part 2)

Wednesday 24 September 2014

Sweary Lineker

The Grannies favourite in the making Gary Lineker got into a bit of trouble recently for using the F-word on Twitter when expressing his sheer excitement and disbelief at his team Leicester City destroying the historically more mighty Manchester United.


'So what?', you might be thinking. In actuality, Lineker was only doing what billions of other people - football fans or not - do every day... in some cases in every other sentence.

Certain media outlets though found his comments to be inappropriate, given that there is no age censorship effectively in place on Twitter. Blimey if they thought a couple of F-words from Lineker were bad, they REALLY haven't been on Twitter that much!!!



Lineker himself laughed it off. After all, if you can't swear in joyous context after such a rare moment of sporting exhilaration, when indeed can you?


The real story here though is the impact of the F-word itself.

As a child, it was an absolute no-no at home.
I'd heard it at school from my friends who had older siblings... and subsequently I told my younger brother to "F*** off!" when I was about 6 years old. I didn't get told off too much, but my parents made it clear it was not a word to use full stop as it shows a 'lack of intelligence, when other words are available.'... and many people still feel the same way about it - which is nice.

Anyway, in spite of my friends continual use of it, being a compliant sort, I did not.

Imagine my parents shock when I dropped the C-Bomb when I was 8 or 9... again my little brother was the recipient (I loved him really)



This time though it was explained to me what it meant and the offensiveness it carried. Soon after I got told about the birds and the bees, and all became clear.

If anything it put me right off!

Funnily enough though, I remember the very few times I heard my parents say the F-word and I always found it very unpleasant. Some things you just shouldn't hear from your mum and dad I guess?

As times have moved on, the use of such top drawer swearing on TV has changed massively. Yes you'd hear it in some films after the 9pm watershed, but on mainstream TV? Not much - and often certain words were dubbed.

Readers of a certain age might recall watching Die Hard get ruined by Bruce Willis exclaiming "yippie-ki-yay, kemo sabe" - not quite so impactive as the original quote. I doubt Joe Pesci would have had a career at all, given the dialogue in films such as Casino and Goodfellas. Man if ever a guy knew how to swear impactively, it's him!



On TV though, people like Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse used to delightfully mock such dubbing:

Harry Enfield & Paul Whitehouse - Badfellas


But as we moved into the new millennium, it slowly crept in to regular broadcasting - and not only TV drama and Big Brother (which must take much of the blame/credit) but even on chat shows too.

It became less shocking as it became the norm, and I guarantee that whatever network you watch TV on tonight, you will hear the F-word as a given and a rule, rather than an exception. And in 10 years, whether you like it or not, the C-bomb will be of the same status.
"No f***ing chance!" I hear you say...

I blame Canada.



Tuesday 23 September 2014

Those 'Child of the 90's' lists...!!!

Well following on from my 'Child of the 80's' blog, along came a request from my lovely cousin to do a 90's review...How could I decline!?

These are not so prevalent as the 80’s ones, so with a little spousal help, a few have been added!

You know you're a child of the 90's when:

'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest
Definitely wasn’t me!

Interactive games meant going to the park to play with friends
RIP playing at the park

"Talk to the hand" was enough said
“As you do…”

You remember when Billie Piper was a pop star
Yeah I’m sure there’s a misnomer there somewhere

An android was a robot and tablets were medication
Why do we still call it ‘dialling a number’?

You remember Ant and Dec when they were PJ and Duncan, and thought Donna Air was ‘all that’
Nah I’m not sure she was ever ‘all that’

It wasn't odd to have two or three best friends
I reckon the group of 6 or 7 I was in were all good friends – only took one argument to break it up though!

Playing Super Nintendo was the hardest thing ever
PS1/2/3/4 – same argument for me!

TFI Friday was as wild as your weekend got
Danny Baker doesn’t fail at anything.

You remember when Blue Peter presenters were squeaky clean
They’re all at it you know…

You screamed at the dopey contestants in The Crystal Maze
Jeebus some of the klutzes on that programme. Richard O’Brien’s calm exterior deserved an Oscar

You wanted your dying moments to be constructed by Shakespears Sister
She used to look a lot less scary

If you had a million dollars, you could do pretty much what you liked with Demi Moore
Even get a Dudley Moore haircut ©F.R.I.E.N.D.S

You believed NO NO, NO-NO NO NO, NO-NO NO NO, NO NO THERE’S NO LIMIT
5 weeks at #1, following Whitney’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ – which had been #1 for 10 weeks. Some of us had a limit – and it was definitely breached.

You could do ‘The Macarena’ and ‘Saturday Night’ move by move – and repeat
No but I could Moonwalk on the right surface with the right shoes

You debated with your friends how Rose could have saved Jack
The most memorable scene in Titanic for me was seeing Mr.Soft walking the decks during one of the CGI long distance shots:



You could recite the intro to ‘Never Ever’ by heart
I tried and tried but just couldn’t bring myself to like these girls. They just weren’t the Spice Girls

Speaking of which, you could ‘zig-a-zig-ah’
I think I loved all of them at various stages… but always Emma the most
I queued up for 3 hours to get that. In Virgin Megastore Brighton (RIP)

You rejoiced that Julia Roberts made prostitution a fun thing
Not with those armpits

You can sing the rap to ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air’
Absolutely, and it’s even more poignant now

You went to the cinema every week and Kevin Costner was in everything
Or Hugh Grant for that matter...

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons
What is it with cookery programmes on Saturday mornings these days!!!???

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. With Capri Suns.
I necked 5 of these in a row a few of years ago. Top Tip: Don’t do it.

Most men dismissed Take That as rubbish
Oh how times have changed

You wore lime green all summer in 1996
Who didn’t?

You played and/or collected ‘Pogs’
No but I knew a man who did.

You rented Videos for £2.50, and DVD sounded like an illness.
Before even DVDs we had CD-i.
No really - click and view: CD-i
  
We called local radio stations to request songs. And would listen to them through our Walkmans
One of the best inventions ever.

If you couldn’t get an answer from Sabrina, Clarissa would Explain it All
You see Miley? Not all child stars went on the same rites of passage as you

School trips were better than family holidays
Because there was snogging probably!

Natalie Imbruglia from Neighbours could actually sing
Which was good because before that I was Torn

Speaking of which you used to run home at lunch break to get ahead of the game with Neighbours
Two words: Rachel Friend – sounds like she could have been in another show…